La tua cantante
by Anna Marie Masen
Summary: Bella & Edward. Twiligt but Diff... How they meet? What happens? Why she moved to Forks? Alot of bad crap happens but Edwards there for it all, even if hes too late to stop it. Different POV but mainly Bella. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

_I've stolen the characters and the places (They belong to SM) but changed the storyline and added a few twists that SM didn't use… yes its been done before… but it was an idea I couldn't get out of my head… Let me know what you think :) oh this is all unbeta'd… if your interested send me a message :)_

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**Chapter One : Grieving**

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Since the age of three, I had spent exactly five weeks every year with my dad Charlie and now here I was packing up the remains of my life in Phoenix to move in with him. Charlie is the Chief of police in the small quiet town of Forks, also know to the rest of America as the wettest town in the north peninsula. Just great, at this point I wasn't sure my luck could get any worse.

My mother Renee and her new husband Phil had decided to take yet another honeymoon after Phil was signed as a new player for the Los Angeles Dodgers, everything had been arranged and we were set to move in two weeks. The house was beautiful with balconies and multiply bathrooms as well as a swimming pool, not that it was really needed, our house was right on the beach.

I had waved them off at the airport and told them not to worry about me - Sure I had only just turned seventeen but my mother always said I was more like a thirty-five year old - as they boarded the plane, I had this awful feeling twisting in my stomach but I ignored it. Flying was never exactly my favorite thing and I was always certain the damn thing would crash with me on board. For this flight though, apparently I didn't need to be.

I had fallen in the door and turned on the television before getting comfty on the old brown sofa, a re run of some old comedy show was on before a breaking news banner had taken over the bottom of the screen. The pit returned and I felt like I was going to throw up, I furiously flicked to the news channel and felt my whole body turn stone cold as I saw the flight number and the video footage of what remained of the plane, hardly nothing.

'No Survivors' the voice had said.

I slowly reached out and picked the phone off the small coffee table, I looked at the numbers trying to focus on which one was which. Everything had started to blur. I found the star key and pressed 1 - Charlie - I didn't know why I was phoning him but some part of me knew I needed to.

"Hello" the voice was giddy and I could hear others laughing in the background.

"Dad" I said calmly. I felt frozen.

"Bells, you okay?" He was still laughing with the others and I heard someone say something in the background and a fresh round of laughter started. When I didn't answer he spoke again "Bells…"

"Have you seen the news?" I knew my voice was flat but I couldn't find any of my emotions.

"I did. Plane crashes are terrible. Those poor families. They need to do better checks or…" he trailed off as he sighed. I heard him hushing the others before returning to the phone, but they were still joking and laughing. "Bells is everything okay?" he asked serious now.

"I don't… I… I don't think so" I gulped. Suddenly at a loss for air.

"Isabella, what's wrong?" I knew that tone and the way he used my full name. He was staring to panic. Should I have been? Was I?

"I think I'm going to be sick" I said as my head fell over the side of the couch and my stomach emptied.

"Bella, Bells. Bella" I heard him calling as he listened to me. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve before putting the receive back to it. "Bella… Bells you there?" He was shouting now and I suddenly realized all the background noise was completely gone.

"Yeah" my voice was hoarse.

"Bella what's wrong?" I couldn't find the words or the air to explain. "Please baby, speak to me." I noticed someone in the background asking if I was okay and another voice asking what was happening. Charlie let out a shudder. "Bells"

"Renee… Phil" I finally pushed out, barely a whisper.

"What about them?"

"Plane" I said with the last breath I held. I felt the darkness pulling me under and it seemed instantly that I was gone.

I didn't remember much after that. Apparently I didn't say or do anything for a few days. Charlie had of course rushed to me as soon as I passed out on the phone, calling my neighbor on the way to help me. He had put my clues together and got a confirmation that they were on the plane while he made his way from Forks to Phoenix. I remembered the funeral service, no casket, no burial. It didn't seem real. The plane had exploded and gone down over the ocean. No bodies. No anything.

The doctor had come to see me a lot but I didn't really take notice of him. Words like catatonic and insomnia had filtered through to my brain but I couldn't seem to find it in myself to care. The house and everything was left to me but I was too young to stay alone and I didn't want to be alone. So when Charlie had asked me to come to Forks with him, I had given a small nod and gone back to looking at the ceiling.

I couldn't bring myself to cry, even now as I packed the final bits into boxes. Some were staying, others coming with me, there just wasn't a tear to flow. I knew it wasn't because I didn't care because I knew I did, it was more that I felt broken. My brain didn't feel as if it was connecting to my body anymore. I was walking through the motions for Charlie's sake, I hadn't realized the way he watched me, the way he winced every time I moved or tried to say something. I was hurting him and so for his sake I tried to act normal. I knew I was doing a horrible job but it was better than nothing. At least that's what I tell myself.

The long drive to forks was quiet. I spent most of the time staring at the road in front of us or pretending to read. A few times Charlie tried to start a conversation with me and I gave him a few short answers but they took more effort than I had the energy for. The car was packed solid with all the boxes and bags of my belongings and the few treasures I had brought with me that I couldn't bare to leave. Renee's guitar was among them, she could never play it but she tried and tried. I had countless memories of her sitting on the old brown sofa fighting with the strings to make the sounds she wanted them to and then giving up for a few days before attempting it again. I tried to smile at the memory but my face didn't want to co-operate and so I sighed heavily.

"Here's the border Bells. I just need to make one quick stop and then we can go to the house. Get you unpacked." He watched me out the corner of his eye and sighed when I didn't make eye contact.

"Sure" talking was getting easier at least but I still couldn't find the emotion in it. I knew it sounded flat and maybe rude but I felt empty and apparently my words didn't disguise that.

We pulled into the small parking lot outside the small food store. I hadn't been in Forks since Renee left Charlie and apparently nothing had changed. Renee always complained about this place and its lack of food, she use to tell me how she would have to travel to Port Angeles to get decent food and how there was nothing worth buying in Forks.

"You coming in?" Charlie pulled me from my thoughts and I decided to see if she was right.

"Sure" I replied again as I opened the car door.

I couldn't help but notice the shiny Mercedes that was parked next to us and the even shinier Volvo that was parked next to that. I wasn't really one to notice cars but I did notice how the police car seemed to be the only new-ish vehicle on the way into town and yet here I was standing next to two brand new cars.

Charlie must have noticed my stare. "The Cullen's must be here"

"Who?" not that I really cared.

"The towns doctor and his family, they moved here a few months ago." I nodded as he began speaking again but this time his voice was low. "A lot of money."

"Okay" I responded. I could only imagine how much gossip there was about this new family and there money. Normally in towns like this someone couldn't sneeze without it being cause for gossip. I wonder what they are saying about me?

"Bells, don't you want to put on a jacket?" I looked at Charlie and the big parka he was wearing, looked around at the rain that was softly belting down and then looked at my own t-shirt and jeans combo. Was it always raining?

I shrugged before heading towards the doors of the shop.

"Aren't you cold?" He spoke softly behind me as if he was afraid to upset me.

"Nah" I said as I scanned the small over stocked shop. I watched my feet as I walked up the isle following Charlie as he picked up things and showed them to me. Sometimes I looked up to see but mostly I just nodded a yes. I really wasn't hungry and didn't really care what I ate.

"Dr Cullen" I heard Charlie's greeting and I found my curiosity flaring. I looked up into the faces of the whole family. All eyes seemed stuck on me.

"Chief Swan. How are you?" The golden haired older male asked as his eyes flicked from Charlie to me.

"Its been a long couple of days but we're getting through it." I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I could feel an intense stare on me and I looked up into the golden eyes of… of an angel. He was truly beautiful with his tussled bronze hair and perfectly angular face. As he stared, I stared back before I heard my name. I looked into the direction of the doctor.

"This must be Isabella?" He smiled at me and once again I tried but my face just wouldn't do as I asked.

"Bella" I corrected.

"Well hello Bella, welcome to Forks" There was something so soothing about his voice, it was almost musical and seemed to flow so perfectly.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Thanks" I said, not really sure what else to say.

"This is my family" he began. I noticed how the same boy was still staring at me intensely only now his face was a mixture of frustration and sadness. I flicked my eyes back to where Carlisle gestured to. "This is my wife Esme"

"Hey" I said flatly. She looked back at me and she almost seemed pained. Did I look that bad. Great.

"My Daughter Alice" He motioned to the small pixie looking girl. She was shorter than me and tiny in every sense of the word and yet very beautiful. Her golden eyes smiled at me as she took a step forward.

"Hey Bella, we're gonna be best friends" her voice was a little too perky.

I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Cool"

"This is Jasper" The pixie motioned to the boy standing next to her. He was tall and had curly blonde hair and the same golden eyes as the others. The way Alice looked at him seemed a little strange for her brother and as if answering my thought she spoke again. "My boyfriend" I lifted my hand slightly as if to wave at him. He was standing the furthest away and made no move to come closer.

"I'm Rosalie, Jaspers sister and this is Emmett, my boyfriend" the blonde beauty queen smiled but it seemed to hold a warning in it. Wow, this family was complicated and unbelievably beautiful. I looked back and forth trying to figure it out, my mind seemed to be working slower than usual given most of my attention was consumed by the constant stare from the boy on the end.

The bigger one moved forward now, his dark curls framed his pale face and golden eyes as he leaned his head down to my height. Did he just wink at me? "How you doing little sis?" The blonde moved closer to him and smacked his arm as if to warn him to back off. How strange. Wait… did he call me little sis? What the heck did that mean? "What?" he said back to her before turning back to me and looking at me as if trying to read my expression or looking for his answer.

"I'm fine big bro" I finally said, I meant it to sound sarcastic but it came out flat. His face was suddenly engulfed by a massive grin as he nodded and moved back to his original spot. I looked up at Charlie, clearly asking him if this Emmett guy was nuts. Charlie just shrugged and looked as confused as I felt.

The angel on the end cleared his throat then and I looked from Charlie to him. "I'm Edward" he held his hand out to mine to shake it. That was a first. Since when did teenage boys shake hands? I couldn't help the small huff and questioning look that I made as I reached my hand forward to shake his. The moment his hand touched mine it felt like an electric shock passed through me and I yanked my hand back. He looked down at me and for a moment I saw a brief flash of pain on his face. I looked at my hand and then back to him but his expression was so sad that I wasn't sure if he had felt the shock or if he thought I was being rude.

"Electric shock" I muttered as I wiggled my fingers. His head lifted a little as he tried to read my face. "What?"

"You felt that?" his expression was completely fathomless now as he changed from one expression to another every second.

"Er… yeah" wasn't it obvious? I wanted to say it but I knew that would be a little too rude.

He stared at me again and I found myself staring back, waiting for him to say something. He didn't.

"So are you starting at the school here?" The pixie asked me.

Crap, what was her name again? "Yeah, I guess." Dragging my eyes from Edward to her.

"She's meant to start on Monday." Charlie answered for me.

"Maybe you could show her around Alice?" Esme suggested.

"Of course. I'd love too. Do you like shopping Bella?"

"Not really" I said fidgety. She seemed nice enough but I wasn't convinced I would be able to handle her perkiness. She frowned at my answer. I noticed how Charlie and Carlisle slowly moved behind me as if to have a private conversation. I couldn't help the curiosity that took over then. They were obviously waiting for me to make some kind of conversation before they would start there's so I wouldn't hear. "I'm guessing you do?" I asked Alice. Right on cue they begun. Alice started talking about how much she loved shopping but I phased her out so I could concentrate on the conversation going on behind me.

"This is the most she's talked since… I'm worried Carlisle."

"Is she on any medication?" Dr Cullen asked. I noticed the expectant look from Alice so I nodded a yes hoping it answered her and it did, so she continued.

Charlie ran through the long list of useless drugs. "But nothing seems to be helping, she hasn't even cried. That's not normal right?"

"Hmmm…" Was Carlisle's short response. I noticed Edward looking at me then and a slight smirk playing on his lips. He had caught me not listening to Alice. I tried to pay attention to her now.

"… store in Port Angeles, I'm sure you'd find loads"

"Sure Alice, whatever you think is best." I answered trying to sound as if I cared or new what the hell she was on about. I didn't fool Edward as he raised his eyebrow at me, I looked away and bit my bottom lip. For the first time since the day my world crashed down around me, I found myself fighting a smile.

I noticed Charlie catching the almost smile and he looked from me to Alice before shaking his head gently and looking at Edward, who was also trying to fight a smile although the twitches at the corner of his lips gave him away. I'd have to watch out for Charlie. He seemed to be more observant than Renee was, then again he was a police officer. Just thinking of her ended the smile and I found the empty pain returning to my chest. As I looked down I wrapped my arms tighter around my body as if it would help me keep the pain locked inside or stop my body from falling apart. I heard Charlie sigh next to me and I could suddenly feel eight pairs of eyes trained on me. Great.

I allowed myself to look up into the golden eyes of Edward who was now looking at me with the most breathtaking painful expression I had ever seen. From what I had seen in the mirror over the last couple of days, his expression seemed to mimic my own only his was still beautiful around it whereas I looked like the walking dead. I felt my breath hitch as I watched his hand lift slightly as if he was going to pull me into an embrace and then drop back to his side balled up. He must have thought better of it.

There had been a conversation going on around me but I had managed to completely block it out, it was something I was becoming ever so good at.

"Well, we better head off" I heard Charlie say as I still kept my eyes buried into Edwards deep golden ones. There was something so particular about the feeling I could fell taking over me. It was numbness but it also made me want to hold him, to touch him. That small spark of energy that had passed between us seemed to ignite some deeply buried emotion that was now trying to claw its way to the surface.

"Yeah" I said not even moving my eyes to look at Charlie. My mind was spinning, I felt almost dazed as I looked upon him.

"I'll pop by later Bella, I just want to have a chat." Carlisle said from the side of me. I had a feeling I would be seeing more of Carlisle before the weekend was over. I managed to flutter my eyes from Edwards to look at his father.

"Oh okay" I nodded at him before looking back to the ground.

"Thanks Carlisle" I heard Charlie voice but didn't turn to see his expression. "I'll see you all around" Charlie said a moment later. Of course being the police chief he had certain phases to make you scared or aware of him but I had never heard this exact authority tone that he used to the others. Almost a warning. His voice changed then, dropping to his normal tone. "Lovely to see you again Mrs Cullen." I felt his hand on my shoulder as he gently nudged me to go.

"Oh…" I said turning to look at him. "Oh right. Yeah. Erm. Nice to meet you all." I said flashing my eyes to each of there perfect faces. There was something about it that didn't make sense and I found myself pondering that as I walked away without looking at Edward.

We were quiet as we shopped, or as Charlie shopped to be more specific. The car journey home was just as quiet as the ride to Forks had been and it wasn't until we pulled up outside that I allowed myself to ask the one question that I couldn't seem to make sense of.

"Cha…Dad, you know the Cullen's, are they all related?"

"Why do you ask?" So this is where I got it from. I had always been far too inquisitive for my own good.

"Well Carlisle said this is my family but Alice introduced Jasper as her boyfriend and Rosalie did the same with Emmett." Charlie nodded, clearly understanding my confusion.

"Carlisle and Esme adopted Edward, he's there nephew or something. Then they adopted Emmett and then Alice. A few years later Alice and Emmett started dating Jasper and Rosalie or the Hale twins as they are known as, and Esme couldn't bare to break them up when they moved so her and Carlisle fostered them. It is a confusing situation. I was certain when I had heard about all those kids from the system that they were going to be trouble but if anything they are the angels of the community. I've never had to even glare at them, they get straight A's and they do a lot of family stuff together. And yet you should hear what the people of this community say about them" he began tutting to himself as he started unloading the boxes.

"What do they say?" My curiosity was flaring now.

"Oh that they are strange, outsiders… you know the usual small minded things. That they are all about money and that's only the tip of the jealousy. I'm sure you noticed they aren't exactly an ugly bunch" I huffed and widened my eyes.

"Not hard to miss"

"Well, you can imagine then how the local girls treat those poor girls. Like pariahs. And the boys, the girls threw themselves at them when they first moved here and because the three lads didn't… well you know…" he gulped "those boys have been labeled ever since. They're either too snobby or gay. Its all ridiculous. You think the people of this town would be happy, Dr Cullen is a wonderful man and fantastic doctor. I've seen him work miracles. He could be living in some big city making five times what he does here but Esme always wanted to live in a small town. She wants her kids to grow up somewhere safe." Charlie huffed and sighed as he carried a box inside. As I picked up a lighter one, I let my mind wonder all the information I had just learned. Hmm. They seemed like the perfect family but something didn't sit right with the whole thing. They all looked different but yet somehow all the same. They all had that strange rare golden eye color - I had definitely never seen it before - and that same tone of pale skin, I thought I was pale but even I had a bit of a tan next to them. Hmm.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts I had even noticed I was standing in my new room with Charlie staring at me. "What?" I asked, knowing he was after saying something.

"What do you think?"

"Its…" I looked around. It was smaller than my last room but it did hold some character at least. The walls weren't pink which was a good thing and the teal really was fitting for how I felt. Hmm. "It's cool"

"I found some of your art and put it up" I couldn't help glaring at the pictures.

"Dad I was three."

"Yep but for a three year old you sure were talented." He smiled as he left the room jogging down the stairs to the remaining boxes.

It didn't take long to get everything into the new room and Charlie took some of Renee's and Phil's things to put up the attic. There were things I wanted to keep but I didn't want to keep out and the attic seemed like the safest place in this small house.

For the first time since, I was actually alone now. Alone. I found myself fidgeting before I finally decided to move the wicker chair in front of the window and look out. There was something about looking out a window I found calming and within minutes I seemed to almost freeze into a perfect statue.

I watched as the rain got heavier, as the wind picked up. I watched as the last rays of light managed to fight the clouds before the whole forest behind the house was in darkness. I heard a knock on the door downstairs, followed by low talking but I pushed it to the back of mind and continued to stare aimlessly out the window.

What seemed like a while later I heard Charlie say my name but it was in the distance, so I decided to ignore it. Then there was a knock but I just couldn't seem to snap out of my gaze to turn and see. I felt a cold hand touch my shoulder and then another voice said my name. The musical voice ripped me from my internal thoughts as I snapped out of my gaze. My heart started beating thunderously as I turned and looked into the eyes of the bronze haired angel from earlier. My hand flew to my chest as I tried to steady my breathing, I truly did feel like someone had just scared the crap out of me.

"Oh… Shit." I let out before throwing my hand to cup my mouth. Edward smiled a crooked grin that only made it harder to breath. "Sorry… I… I err… didn't hear you… crap" I said between gasps.

"Yeah you seemed pretty out of it" He said as he moved his hand to my face to move a piece of hair out of the way. Was he trying to stop my heart from beating? "Are you okay?"

"Ask me again in ten minutes once my heart calms down" he laughed at my response and the sound was like musical bells ringing the most perfect tune.

"Sorry Bells, we've been calling you for awhile." I turned to see Charlie standing at the door with Dr Cullen. Dr Cullen looked so worried as he took in my expression.

"Dr Cullen" I said as I bounced off the seat to face him "Hi" I said but it just sounded completely awkward.

"Hello Bella, I hope its okay that I brought Edward?" he gestured to his son who was staring at me again making me feel dizzy.

"Sure"

"Edward wants to be a doctor so I'm helping him with his studies. He can go if you like?" I thought about that for a second but somehow the idea of Edward leaving was painful to me. Why? How? I hardly knew him and when I was around him, its not like I could think straight.

"No" I said a little to quickly. "He can stay" I tried to smooth it out but judging by the smirk on Edwards lips I knew he had caught me out once again. Damn.

I turned the chair before I went over and sat on the edge of the bed, I gestured Carlisle towards the chair hoping that this would be over quickly. Edward stood to the left of my double bed and I looked up to see him glancing around the room. To Charlie it would look as if he was looking for another chair but I saw the way his eyes roamed over my books and dvd's. He was doing a little investigation. I watched as his eyes kept slipping back to the book on the bedside table. My friend Lisa from Phoenix had been raving about these 'Vampire Diaries' books and for my birthday she decided to buy me the collection. On the journey to forks I had grabbed one as my prop in the car to keep Charlie happy. Every time he looked at it his expression shifted to irritation and I wondered why that was.

"So… what do you want to talk about?" I asked Carlisle as he studied me, although I noticed his eyes flicker to Edward.

I looked up to his face as he stared longer at the book this time. I patted the bed next to me. "You can sit you know. I don't bite" I said trying to make a joke about vampires. His head snapped to mine and he almost looked panicked as he tried to read my expression. Eventually he shrugged and sat down.

I was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong with him… he seemed a little odd.

"Your father gave me the list of medication that was prescribed." Oh great. I should have sent Edward home. What the heck was I thinking.

"Okay…"

"I wanted to ask you about them?" I raised my eyebrows as if asking him to continue. "You were put on anti-depressants… do you think they helped?"

"I'm not depressed… just sad… I'll get over it" I shrugged. Thankfully Charlie was a lot like me and found this conversation far too embarrassing and so he had quietly turned and made his way down the stairs.

"Have you been taking them?" His eyes narrowed. Crap. I had been caught.

"If I say no, am I in trouble." I asked, cringing from what I expected to come next.

"No. I think it was the wrong move to put you on anti-depressants. A person should only be given them if they fail to make some improvements after a long period. Everyone should be allowed to grieve." He smiled at me.

"Oh well, erm… then no" I bit my bottom lip.

"Okay how about the sleeping pills?"

"I took a couple. They didn't work so I stopped."

"They didn't work?" he inquired. It was amazing how easy it was to speak to Dr Cullen even with Edward sitting next to me. They were complete strangers so why did I suddenly feel as if this is where I belonged. It really was mind boggling.

"Nope, mainly made me feel sick"

"Yes, that's a side effect. Hmm. Have you taken any of the medication Bella?" He had clearly worked out why nothing had seemed to improve my state of mind.

I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say so I just shook a no. I waited for the usual tutting and then the lecture about how the doctors prescribe these to help etc… but he just nodded and smiled up at me.

"Your not going to lecture me?" I asked, raised eyebrows.

"Nope. Your not a child Bella, if you didn't think you needed them or that they were working there was no reason for you to take them. I've seen doctors throw pills towards people in your situation before and I have to admit I've never seen it help." He leaned in closer then. "Sometime you just have to heal" he stood up then and nodded his head to Edward. "I'm going to go talk to your dad. It would be better if I did this alone. Can he…"

I cut him off. "Sure".

"Goodnight Bella" Carlisle said as he walked out. I turned to look at Edward.

"A doctor huh?" he smiled that same crooked grin as he looked down to his feet.

"I see what Carlisle does and I want to help people"

"Fair enough" I copied his position, knotting my fingers together in my lap before I let my mouth speak without my brains permission. "So you must think I'm a complete nut case right? I mean I get it… I kinda…"

Before I could finish my sentence he was kneeling down in front of me, his hands surrounding mine, his thumbs began rubbing small circles into them. "Not at all." My eyes met his eyes then and I couldn't seem to drag them away. "I know what its like Bella, to lose your family. I lost mine as well." His voice was so sincere that it caught me off guard.

"I'm sorry… I …" he just shrugged.

"It was a very long time ago but I still miss them." His velvet voice was so soft and quiet, yet filled with so much emotion. "Its different now, when I think of them its not always sad. I remember the good times, the happier memories and in that I find my peace."

I could hear my breath shaking and I was trying desperately to hold on to it.

"It gets better Bella" He removed one hand and lifted it to my face, wiping something from my cheek.

"Promise?" I said as I finally realized that everything was starting to blur. I felt the rush of emotions hit me hard as I looked into the deep pools of gold that held so much pain. I felt the streaks of tears run down my face as the burning in my eyes was finally soothed.

"Oh Bella." He sighed sadly as he leaned up, wrapping me in a tight embrace and pulling me onto his lap on the floor. "I promise" he whispered into my ear as he gently rocked me.

I let the sobbing take over me as I felt it wrecking my chest. I was certain I wasn't being quiet but I couldn't seem to care. I tightened my grip on Edward and he did the same in return. I felt him gently stroking my hair as he rocked me and leaned his cheek against my forehead. Even through the sobbing I heard the footsteps come running up the stairs. I could just make out Charlie standing in the doorway looking down at me in Edward's arms and I couldn't imagine what he must be thinking but in this moment I truly didn't care what anyone thought.

"She's okay Chief Swan" Edward spoke softly as he continued to rub my back. He really was an angel.

"Edward the floor probably isn't very comfortable" Carlisle spoke softly as Charlie turned to look at him and then back at me. I could feel Edward move his head but he didn't say anything so I had no idea what was going on. I watched as Charlie debated something before nodding a yes at Edward.

His arms moved from their original position and before I knew it I was in the air and he was carrying me. I had this awful thought that he was going to put me down and go and that only made the tears come faster and harder, I forced my hand to tighten on him. I didn't want my angel to go. Right now I needed him even if I had no idea why.

"I'm not going anywhere" he whispered really quietly into my ear, I was certain that he had done that on purpose so that Charlie didn't hear. Carlisle had pulled back the covers and Edward scooted over so that he was sitting in my bed leaning against the headboard with me wrapped tightly in his arms. Charlie walked over then and I was waiting for him to be a normal father and hunt this strange boy from his daughters bed but he didn't.

"She looks cold" He spoke as he lift the covers over the two of us and tucked it tightly around us. "She might be thirsty" he said as he walked from the room.

Carlisle just smiled down at the two of us before heading over to the window and pulling the purple thick curtains shut. Charlie came in then and hurried to my side with a tall glass of water and some tissues. Two things Charlie couldn't handle; hugs and tears. He never could and it seemed like he never would. He looked over at Carlisle and the two of them left the room then as the spoke at a whispered level.

I allowed myself to get completely lost in Edward scent then. I had never smelt anything like it before, it was icy and yet very sweet. The strangest mix but it intoxicated me and I couldn't wait to get more. I noticed I wasn't the only one inhaling then as I felt him lower his head into my hair and take a deep sniff. Oh crap! Did I smell bad? When was the last time I washed my hair? I pulled my hand up to wipe my face and I tried to inconspicuously smell a strand of hair. It felt clean and I could only smell strawberries so I went on faith that it smelt okay.

Of course once I had moved my hand he had slightly pulled back to look at me, I was sure he had seen me smell my hair, he had noticed everything else so far today. His hand cupped my cheek as he gently stroked under my eye with his thumb. He didn't say anything he just sat there staring at me, as I stared at him.

Charlie peeked his head around the door then and I heard him sigh as he heard that I was still crying. I wasn't sure how long I had been crying for but I was sure it wasn't a short time.

The tears continued to come and go, it was as if I was on a timer and every time I hit the minute mark the sobs turned to hysterics and back again. Every time the hysterics hit I felt Edwards arms tighten around me as he buried my face beneath his chin and continued to rock me.

Charlie continued to check on me a few more times, sometimes he spoke to Edward. "Should I get her anything? Do you want anything?" I knew he was warring with himself over letting a strange boy hold me in my bed vs. this strange boy had some how helped me make progress and I seemed to want him there more than anything else right now. I was certain Charlie's liking for the Cullen's and the perfect records Edward held was also included in the conclusion.

After what felt like eternity, my eyes finally began to get heavy and the sobs seemed to becoming to an end as if I had no more tears to cry. He dropped his forehead against mine as my tears slowed and my breath jerked. He slid slightly so that he was nearly lying down which meant that I was completely lying down and pulled me tightly against his body as he encircled me into his arms. He stroked the side of my face as we lay staring into each others as he began humming a very low melody. It was the most beautiful tune I had ever heard and his beautiful musical voice only done it wonders. I felt my eyes fluttering shut but there was a part of me that was trying to force them to stay open, I didn't want to lose him yet.

As I heard Charlie entering the room, I let out the last few sobs, scared that he would send Edward away.

"Should I turn off the light?" Charlie whispered to Edward. What the heck was happening? I had imagined things to be much more strict with Charlie.

"If that's okay with you sir?" Edward spoke softly back.

"I'll be just down the hall, I'll come and check often so no funny…" That same authority tone rang throughout his words.

Edward cut him off "Wouldn't dream of it sir." There was that sincerity again woven throughout Edwards voice, it wasn't possible to doubt him.

"Okay then, Goodnight" the light flipped off then and I found myself in the darkness with the only light coming from the hallway.

After a moment, I felt Edward shift slightly so that he was actually lying down now and he pulled me tighter to him as he started humming the tune again. Letting his fingers play idly on my arm. My breathing was hitching and the wracking on my chest had calmed down but I still couldn't seem to completely stop, even when my eyelids had closed and my mind was starting to give up on me.

"Sleep now my Bella, I'll still be here tomorrow." I found myself playing over his words as I finally let unconsciousness take me.

_My Bella…_

_Still be here tomorrow…_

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_**I know you see that lovely green button… it's the one that is screaming at you to send me a little review… you know you want tooooooooo**_

_** :) reviews make me happy and when I'm happy I type faster :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

SM owns everything i want...

AN: Just to make it clear anything 'like this' is from someones mind :)

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_**Chapter two: Wait**_

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_Edwards POV_

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Boredom. The incessant dribble of these human minds are beginning to take its toll on me, I find myself more and more bitter with each and every single breath they take. And its not just them… my family are all I have left and of late I have found myself constantly questioning why I am here. Their happiness used to ignite something in me, it once brought a warm feeling in my dead frozen heart but now, their happiness is nothing more than an ever flowing punishment. I love them, if that's what it is. I know I couldn't stand to lose any of them and I think of them as I did my own human family. Yet… it is nothing compared to the way they feel about their other half's. Each and every one of them is different and yet, somehow the same with one main similarity that only deepens the bitterness of my thoughts: they have something I don't.

Hearing the love and feeling the emotions - through Jasper - has driven me from the house on many occasions, of course I would never admitted as to why but I knew that they had figured it out. They can block their thoughts from me but do they think I don't realize that they are hiding something. Who in their right mind translates something as boring as the dictionary into five different languages at the same time. Over the years though, I have managed to develop a mental block - it's the only way I have managed to survived so long - I find it easier now to get lost in my own thoughts and find it somewhat comforting that in my dream world everyone is just as miserable as I am.

'… Edward kiss me right… there' That is until I am pulled from my happy place. Ergh humans and the insane fantasies their simple minds weave. Especially this simple mind. 'Don't stop Edward…Keep' If I could throw up I would have been right down to the bile.

"What's wrong? You seem… a little disgusted." Jasper's voice filtered across from where he sat next to me in English.

"She's at it again." I stated through my teeth as I kept my eyes on the board. Jasper and the others were fully aware of Jessica Stanley's little crush since we had moved here two weeks ago. After that day I swore I would never help another human girl again. She dropped her book from her locker which was only two from mine and after the lecture we had received from Carlisle about working more on fitting in, I thought it a good idea to pick it up, to be the nice guy. What a mistake that had been. Ever since, she has followed me and in the classes we share she stares and fantasies about me and her… together. I felt the non existent bile rise up my throat again as I nearly gagged.

"Rough break dude" Emmett said from where he sat two rows behind us. Of course nobody would hear him, the speed and hearing were some of the only perks of being a vampire I actually enjoyed. "It could be worse though"

I turned to Jasper and Jasper turned to me, both of our expressions showing the same level of disbelief and confusion before we turned to glare at Emmett. My raised eyebrow clearly stated the 'How' I was thinking.

"It could be a guy!" he blurted out, shaking with the laughter he was trying to conceal. I let a low growl rumble in my throat. Mike Newton, who was sitting between us and Emmett, sank in his seat away from us. Oh crap! So much for fitting in better.

"Cullen boys, pay attention" the teacher scolded obviously aware of the fact we were staring at Emmett rather than him. Cullen boys?

"We have names" I said under my breath. I could hear the ramble in his head about the lack of respect the students had for their elders. What a joke! I huffed. If he really new just how old we were.

Jasper raised his hand slightly, I could hear the sarcasm in his mind and it was becoming hard to keep the laughter in as it threatened to break seal my lips had made. "I'm a Hale, not a Cullen" The teacher glared at him "Sir" he added later. That did it. As the laughter escaped, I heard the booming laugh from behind us as Emmett nearly fell off his chair from the hysterics.

"You three principal office, NOW" He yelled.

'Oh we are going to be in trouble later' Jasper thought as we walked out the class door, I had to nod in agreement, Carlisle wouldn't be impressed. At all.

"What? Carlisle told us to fit in better. Everyone gets sent to the office at least once." Emmett laughed out as we were nearing the office. "Its true" he shrugged.

I couldn't believe it when they called Carlisle and Esme in. All we did was laugh but as with everyone in this town, the assumed take on us was that we were going to be trouble makers because we were from the 'system'. The door opened and Carlisle walked in glaring at us as the receptionist watched him closely. From her thoughts she was trying o figure out what level of control he had over us. Esme tutted as she walked in shaking her head.

'What happened?' Carlisle thought as he glared at me, the tone wasn't showing his anger, simply his amusement. I explained quickly and very quietly as Carlisle stood between the receptionist and us, blocking her view. I saw his and Esme's calm façade starting to crack as they tried not to laugh. The principal joined us then, although he stood in his doorway pretending not to see the whole family conversation.

"Boys, boys, boys… this is not a good start." Carlisle finally spoke to us, making sure it was loud enough for the receptionist to hear while he wagged his finger.

"No TV. No internet. No phones." Esme scolded as she held her hand out. "Phones now" her hand flew out as we all sighed dramatically and handed them over. 'Oh that was fun' Esme laughed in her head at the strict parent act. "There will be non of this, Boys I mean it. If I get called in again…" she let her warning trail off. The receptionist's eyes bugged out at that.

"Sorry Mum" I said as I looked down to my trainers.

"But it wasn't that bad, its been blown completely…" Emmett tried to argue. It was all part of the game but it seemed almost too natural for him to play the part of the bratty teenager.

"Shut up man." Jasper elbowed him.

"What its true. We didn't really do anything…" Emmett tried again, this time directed to Jasper.

"Are you trying to make this worse Emmett, shut the hell up" I said through my teeth, making sure it wa acknowledged by our audience.

"Language Edward." Carlisle scorned. His own voice thick with anger.

"Enough of this. No excuses. Your all grounded, two weeks." Esme said calmly as she raised her hand to signal us all to stop talking.

"But mum" Emmett began dragging out the 'mummmm'

"Don't push me Emmett, I will make it a month… for all of you" Her calmness only added to her authority and after we all sighed and dropped our heads, the principal finally called them into the office. I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"Take a seat please" Principal Green offered as he tried to work out exactly who had more control over us. To him it seemed like Esme as Carlisle really hadn't said much. Yet, he personally had found Carlisle much more frightening, especially as he remembered the same glare from his own father and what that had meant was coming. In every town we had to play this game, everyone assumed that Carlisle and Esme were too young to have so many children from the 'system' and be able to control them, they were constantly waiting for the trouble to begin.

"What exactly happened?" Carlisle asked.

"From what I've been informed, the three boys weren't paying attention, having a conversation and when the teacher called them on it, they burst out laughing and made some rude comments."

If Mr Green wanted to see the stricter side of Carlisle, he got it. "How exactly did he call them on it and what did they say? It might not seem important but given the nature of there history, it is."

"He called them by their surname, as he does all the children when they miss behave." He reasoned.

"Surname? Please tell me he didn't call Jasper by the name Cullen" Carlisle was fully aware but he too understood that this was way over the top and the teachers were trying to make a point. I had read on our first day that Mr Green didn't like the idea of us ruining the schools track record and so, was looking for anyway to get rid of us.

"Yes I think he did actually." I could hear the break in his voice as if he didn't want to admit that. He had assumed this topic wouldn't be questioned. Carlisle let out a loud huff of disappointment.

"What was it exactly that my boys said that was rude?" Esme finally joined in the conversation, stressing the word exactly. I watched as Mr Green fumbled through papers before finally reading aloud.

"That wasn't rude, he pointed out the facts." Carlisle said angrily. "What is rude however, is this teacher not knowing the children's names. Jasper is not officially a Cullen and he has always been very strong headed about that. It would be like me calling you Mr Pink. I'm sure that wouldn't be appreciated!" Carlisle's authority rang strong through his words as he let out another huff before I heard the chair move. "Now I am sure you are very clear on what my job is in this town?" Although angry, Carlisle's voice never raised in tone or pitch.

"Yes, you run the Emergency room at the hospital." The principal answered as he found himself feeling like the student.

"Exactly. I was on shift and you called me away for this. Do you realize, someone might have died because you felt the need to call me in for such a silly situation. I'm not saying my boys aren't wrong but they are going through a lot and laughing in class is barely the worst thing a student has done. Come on Esme, I need to get back" I heard Esme's chair scrape then.

"I'll take the boys home and have a word with them." She vowed as their voiced got closer.

"Good day" Carlisle said as he opened the door and motioned for us to follow. Mr. Green just sat there in complete shock at being called out on his behavior. We kept up the guilty act until we made it to the car.

We were still laughing as we walked into the now silent house, Carlisle had returned to the hospital after telling us to behave better. As silly as the whole thing was, I couldn't help but feel a slight bit of appreciation for it. At least it a gave me something other than Jessica Stanley's insane vile thoughts to think about. Of course my small bit of peace ended when Jasper and Emmett dropped to the couch, both looking upset by something. I snuck a peak as I pretended not to notice. I wish I hadn't.

'Now I have to wait three hours to see Alice… I miss her…"

"What can I do for three hours without Rose… crap! Nothing. No wonder Edwards always in a bad mood, he must be bored senseless…"

I escaped Emmett's thoughts then, not wanting to hear more. Once inside my room I felt the same bitterness seep in. I looked around and decided to settle for the medical book I had borrowed from Carlisle about the neurological system. I couldn't understand how a humans mind could be so simple in thought and yet so complicated in every other way. Then again, they hardly used any of it. Hmm. I registered my own bitterness. What I wouldn't give to be one of those brainless genetic human boys…

***

My studies were interrupted by the sound of Rosalie's M3 speeding down the long twisted driveway to our home. That latest update to the engine seemed to make the thing go faster. Something I wasn't sure could have been possible. I idly thought about whether Rosalie would consider letting me drive it but dropped it as soon I realized that it wouldn't be worth owing her something.

"… miss my Em" I started picking up her thoughts before I could block them out but something caught me in Alice's. I had assumed hers would be on the same line as Rosalie's but they weren't.

"Twilight. Zmierzchu. Halbdunkel. Crépuscule. Anochecer."

She was hiding something. This is exactly what I meant, did she really think that her translating that word to Polish, German, French and Spanish wasn't going to immediately tell me she was hiding something. Hmmm. I wonder what she had seen. I found myself overly intrigued. Sprinting down the stairs, I waited at the garage door in the kitchen for her to enter. As she saw me, her eyes widened and she tried to refocus on translating.

"What are you hiding?" I stared intently at her, waiting for that brief second for her to make a slip. Come on…

"Wouldn't you like to know" she said with a huge grin as she danced around me and into Jaspers arms. Immediately I read the love coming off of her through his mind and my interest in whatever it was began to wave.

"Come on Alice. Just tell me… Let me see… I'm so bored!" I tried to beg her but it only made her grin wider.

"Lets just say you wont be very soon" Cryptic, how very Alice.

"What does that mean?" I stepped closer to her, towering her trying my hardest to find it somewhere in her thoughts.

"Oh fine!" She grumbled as she opened her vision to me. Tanya, Kate and Irina were coming to visit and they would be here in a few moments.

"Great" I said, suddenly losing all interest in everything. "I have the pleasure of spending the next few days fighting her off… great!" I repeated allowing the venom to seep into my words. It wasn't that I didn't like them, because I really did but Tanya constantly tried to be with me intimately and her thoughts were just as vile as Jessica Stanley's. I had explained on numerous occasions that I didn't feel that way about her and it just didn't seem to sink in. So now, here I was… stuck.

"Dude, you should just do it. Might as well" Emmett said as he walked in, taking Rosalie in to his arms.

"Emmett's right, you need to get laid" I felt a deep rumble in my chest.

"I'm going hunting, I'll be back in a few days." I stated as I turned to leave.

"Oh no you don't!" Alice's small hand grabbed my arm.

"Why not?" I inquired as I took in a deep breath to calm me.

"Because they will be here any minute and she will know you ran from them. Do you want that?" her small pixie eyes darting around my face as she smugly thought 'Nope, your too much of a gentleman for that! Ha Ha!"

"Evil pixie, you could have warned me!" I growled at her.

"Then you would have left and maybe…they're" gesturing to Emmett and Rose "going about it all wrong but maybe they are right. You might be happy with her Edward if you gave her a chance." I could hear the sincerity in her voice, so I knew she was only trying to help. As everyone's thoughts bombarded me with agreement towards the words Alice had spoke I found myself wondering if maybe they were right.

"Edward" Her voice chilled me through and through. Tanya. She ran straight at me and threw herself into my arms. The strawberry blond pulled away then and looked at me "How are you? I've missed you! Have you missed me?" she winked. Yet I felt nothing.

"Sure Tanya. How are you?" I tried being a polite as possible as I placed her back down and walked over to great the others.

"Lonely" she pouted. Oh God! 'He's sooo… Yum. And innocent. Oh the ways I could corrupt him, teach him how I like it…" I felt the invisible bile rising again. Oh dear God.

I turned to them all then, knowing they were watching to see if maybe I would give it ago as I hadn't immediately shot the idea down. What the heck was I thinking. Tanya. She was Rosalie only worse. "Never" I stated sharply as I headed for the living room.

"Never what? Edikins" Yep there was that bile again.

"Oh nothing important Tanya." I sat and flipped on the TV hoping she would get bored and go talk to someone else. What I didn't expect was for her to follow me over to the couch and sit on my lap. "Err what are you doing?" I tried to stay polite but there was a limit to how much of my personal space she was allowed to take.

"What I know you want but are too afraid of" she smirked as she inched her face closer to mine.

"And what is that exactly?" I raised my eyebrows. I knew what she was getting at but I needed her to say it so I could stop it once and for all. Gentleman be damned.

She raised her finger and began stroking my face, I flinched back slightly from her touch. There was something about it that just felt so wrong. "I know you want me Edward. I've seen the way you watch me. The way you long for me... Like I do for you" her lips were so close I could feel her breathing on me. Jasper walked in then and I immediately picked up on her emotions. Lust, cravings and was that love. Did she love me? She hardly knew me.

"Tanya…" I began as I tried to think about what Jaspers gift was telling me. Were they right, could I one day feel that for her the way she did for me. Could I have that… before I was able to finish my sentence she pressed her stone cold lips to mine but nothing about it felt right. I didn't move. She continued trying to get me to respond but I was frozen. Was this love? Was I missing something? This felt wrong, terrible even.

I finally found my strength again and pushed her off, not roughly but enough for her to get the hint. I held her at arms length. "Look Tanya. I'm flattered and your beautiful but maybe I just don't have that in me because…" I sighed, no matter how I said this it was going to be hurtful to her and I truly didn't want to hurt her. "Your like a sister Tanya, nothing more. Sorry."

She drew back from me, the anger and hurt in her eyes was impossible to miss. She had obviously never been turned down before and apparently didn't like it too much. I saw Carlisle come in but head straight for the kitchen…

'Good luck son' he thought as he took in what was happening.

"Edward Cullen, you listen to me! Men fall at my feet, they plead and beg, I am offering you one last chance to change your mind"

"I'm sorry Tanya" I said again as I walked towards the stairs. I had a feeling being around her after that wouldn't be the best move so I started running for my room.

My room. My sanctuary. The one place that was just mine. I fell down on to the black leather sofa as I watched Kate and Irena take off after Tanya. I was sorry to hurt her but I just didn't feel for her. Maybe I would never feel that way for anyone. I was doomed. No I was worse… They were all just as doomed as I was but they had someone to help them through it, I had no one. I was cursed. Cursed and doomed. Whatever I had done in a previous life must have really annoyed someone that they would go to all this trouble to torture me for eternity.

Maybe I should just end it.

That thought stayed with me… I couldn't seem to pass it. The idea somehow felt… right. I found my brain suddenly conjuring plans… and than contingency plans. What was I doing? Just end it all… I would stop being the bitter torn in my family and they could go on together all happy and loving. They would never help me with this… Tanya might now that she officially hated me… no, she'd get over it. Hmm. The Volturi… anger the Volturi.

I saw it then, clear as day… I would walk in, ask… they would deny… I would break the law and they would end me… I could do that…

I hadn't realized how finalized it all was, to me it was an idea, a fleeting thought but I heard the crashing of wood and suddenly my entire family stood there staring at me.

"Don't you dare" Alice screamed at me through shaky gasps. I read it then in all of their minds. Alice had seen it. I hadn't imagined what I had seen or even dreamt it up. I had been reading Alice's vision. Apparently my end was coming and I found myself okay with that. Giddy about it actually and a small smile appeared across my lips without my permission.

"Hmm" I simply sighed.

"Edward" Carlisle said in a hushed tone. 'Don't do this son. Please.' I watched as Carlisle measured my expression and response to Alice's vision and came to the conclusion I was completely serious about this plan. I hadn't realized I was but now that it sat there…

"I cant lose my son Edward" Esme said between sobs into Carlisle's chest. Something about that broke my plan. I couldn't do it to her… couldn't hurt my own mother like that… could I? would I?

"We can talk about it Edward… we could move? Some where far and new… see what life brings then?" Carlisle tried to reason but I couldn't take my eyes from Esme. She looked so sad.

I stood then and walked towards her, taking her hand softly in mine. "There's nothing here for me mum" I spoke softly as if it was just us. "I don't… I don't belong here" Everyone gasped at that, but they knew it was true.

"Yes there is!" Rosalie chipped in then as I waited for the insults to fly. She walked over to me then, dragging Emmett. "There's us" Where were the Rosalie Hale insults? I waited but they never came. 'Please don't do this to them Edward. They wont survive it" even the tone she used was soft and full of sorrow. I was being a selfish jackass and I knew it.

I looked at them all, the worry had aged them all and I was causing it… my plan wavered as I knew I couldn't put them all especially the little pixie and my parents through that kind of hurt.

'Please Edward' Alice thought and in her mind she was crying hysterically at the thought of losing me. 'Us freaks have to stay together, remember?' it was the same saying I had used many times to describe the three of us with powers. We were freaks even to our own kind. That was it, the plan hit the air and blew up to a thousand tiny crystals never to come together again.

Alice's eyes shifted as a new vision came forth. I didn't watch knowing it would be about me and my boring bitter life.

"Thank you Edward, thank you!" She sprung at me, trying to wrap her tiny arms around me.

"I'm sorry, it was just a thought that … I guess developed." I said looking back at the floor and heading towards my couch. Somehow I missed the idea of that plan. It felt like this suffering would come to an end.

They started to leave the room slowly, knowing I wanted to be alone when Alice hit the floor. Vampires don't fall… at least not that easily. I sprung up and was at her side. The whole family encircled her and she began having another vision but this was different. Even the smell in this vision hit me and tore me to the ground next to her. I could hear sounds from around us but it sounded in the distance and I couldn't seem to get back to that place. The vision was holding both me and her hostage. I stared into Alice's eyes and she started into mine as it began.

We were in the grocery store in town, when Chief Swan walks in. The smell he brought with him nearly knocked the breath out of me. Walking behind but not looking up was a small frail girl who scent was more than mouthwatering. Her mahogany hair floated in large waves right down her back, at the moment the ends were hitting of the top of her jeans as she hung her head. She was wet, covered in small drips from the rain and yet she was in no more than a t-shirt. When her eyes finally did come up to meet ours she looked so sad, so broken. I instantly felt a pull to this girl. Why was she sad. I noticed my vision self staring at her and getting frustrated but I couldn't work out why. Emmett stepped to her and called her Little sis… why would he do that? None of this made sense. I was thrown from the vision then and as I took in the room around me, Alice's stare only seemed to widen.

"What is it Alice? What did you see?" Carlisle asked, helping her from the ground. I felt Emmett try to help me but I was in too much shock. Who was she? Why was she sad?

"Edward did you…" Alice barely got out looking down at me. I just stared straight back up at her.

"What was that?" Jasper said as he stumbled to the wall to hold him up. I looked at him. He didn't see it but he felt it. "That came from you Edward"

"What's going on?" Esme asked, the worry evident in her voice.

"I think Edward just found where he belongs" Alice said as she reached towards me. I heard reactions but couldn't care… this was more important than how they were handling it.

"Alice, look again!" I demanded.

"Please, wouldn't hurt Edward" she scolded raising her eyebrow.

"Aliceeeee" I begged taking her hand.

"Fine" her eyes darted shut and she began flicking through the future…

"Stop. There, right there… that's her" I said as the beauty refilled my brain.

"That's your meadow" Alice breathed out. "What is she doing there?"

The sun was beating down on her - but she didn't sparkle - it hardly happened in this small town, when it did, it was the equivalent of snow for Christmas. But there she was in my meadow, looking around her in awe as she took in the beauty that is my secret hiding place. I had found it the last time we lived here, nearly seventy years ago and was surprised to see it still here. I had always considered it the most beautiful thing in this world but with this girl standing in there, it was nothing next to her. As we watched she was searching for something, he scent assaulted me and I found myself only craving more of it. What was that.

"Edward, she's… human" Alice whispered the last bit.

"I know… can you smell that… her scent… that's…" I couldn't finish but I didn't need too.

"Mouthwatering?" Alice answered. "This vision is from your perspective Edward, your there with her… I smell her as you do, I've never smelt anything like that."

"Neither have I" as we spoke she was searching the tree line, before her eyes came into contact with mine. She was staring right at me. She started to walk but I saw my hand go out and she stopped. "Why would I take her there" I asked mainly to myself.

"To feed…" I heard Emmett say…

"Edward its too much, the craving is…" Jasper began.

"La tua Cantante" Carlisle's voice rang clear through my head. Yes. He was right. This was the person who's blood sings to me. Did I lead her here to die?

"Alice, am I going to kill her?" as I said the word I felt a sickening snap in my stomach, I didn't want this girl to die… I wanted to know her… the thought of her dying was unbearable.

"I don't…" she began but finally the unknown girl talked.

"You can trust me Edward" and with that I knew I could. I watched her as she took another step towards me and I followed her lead. I walked straight out into the sunlight, showing her what I really looked like. I waited, shocked for her to scream but she didn't. She stared almost mesmerized, before reaching her hand out and touching my cheek softly. I felt it through the vision and it was like pure pleasure. "You're beautiful" she stated as she stepped closer. The scent attacked me, filling my mouth with venom and the monster inside screamed but somehow I managed to fight it back.

"This is the skin of a killer" I said in disgust. Still waiting for her to turn and run. She watched me closely, trying to find something in my eyes.

"What are you waiting for?" her voice was so small as she kept watching me so closely, searching for her answers.

"I'm waiting for you to turn and run, screaming as you go." I finally said and I could here the pain that filled my voice.

"I'm not going anywhere" she smiled up at me before tutting. "Silly Vampire" she laughed.

The vision began blurring and I knew that meant it was coming to an end but I didn't want it to end. I wanted to still be there with her. She knew and she didn't care. I didn't want it to end… I needed it not too. The thought of returning to this pitiful life was like someone staking me through my dead heart. I wanted to stay where it was warm and loving… where I had someone.

As her vision kicked us out, I stood staring at her. "What was that?" she finally said.

Carlisle stepped towards us then "Can somebody please tell us?"

"There was this girl, her scent was…" I began

"La tua Cantante" Carlisle spoke and I nodded.

"But it didn't matter." I was searching for the words to explain.

"Didn't matter?" Emmett spoke. He had found his La Tua Cantante twice and both times been unable to resist.

"No, his other emotions were too strong" Jasper said as he slid down the wall. "I thought I was going to explode during that… so much emotion, so many"

"She was at my meadow but I took her there to show her…" I pulled on my face, completely lost in thought. "In the sunlight."

"What? A human? Are you insane?" Rosalie shouted as everyone looked around with worried expressions.

"Did you see her reaction?" Esme walked over taking my hand that was still on my face, over my mouth.

"Silly Vampire" I laughed remembering the way she had laughed.

"She wasn't scared… not at all" Alice small form moved closer to mine as she took my other hand in hers. "She's coming Edward. I don't know when but soon… Chief Swan didn't look very different."

"Chief Swan?" Carlisle asked.

"In the first vision she was with him" I answered looking towards his mind for what ever he was thinking.

'His daughter' "He has a daughter. Isabella Marie. It could be her. From what I've seen she has long brown hair almost…"

I interrupted "Mahogany" I remembered the meadow and the sun, her hair was shining with red streaks. "but there's red as well…"

"Yes" Carlisle stated before turning to Alice. "Do you see anything else? Why she would be coming here? She lives in Phoenix with her mother, she has done since she was three."

"How do you know so much about her?" I inquired, he always knew everything… but how?

"Charlie only got back from visiting her last week, he brought photos and when I was down at the station I got the full run down on her" Carlisle rolled his eyes and smiled. "He's a very proud parent." I couldn't help but smile at that, I was certain it was the same way Carlisle spoke of us when he didn't think we were in hearing range.

Alice tried again and I braced myself to see this Isabella one more time. It was sunny, too sunny to be Forks, yet there was gloom in the air. We watched as people dressed all in black stepped from a black limo. Then she did. Her hair was straight, hanging limp as she didn't lift her eyes from the pavement, she took a few steps forward before she seemed to freeze. She was broken, I had been right in my assessment.

"A funeral?" I asked as I watched another man step from the car. It was Chief Swan, his eyes puffy from crying and his all body seemed shaken. There were a few people talking but I couldn't seem to catch what they were saying as I watched Isabella. She didn't move until she was guided by Chief Swan.

"Who's Renee and Phil?" Alice's voice interrupted my thoughts and I knew who they were without Carlisle confirming it so I answered it first.

"Her mother" I knew that look, it was the look of a scared child who wasn't coping with the loss of their mother. I knew that pain all too well. My mother had meant everything to me and when I got sick, she nursed me only to become sick as well. After I was turned I had asked Carlisle about my mother, he informed me that she had died hours before he bit me but I was too far gone to notice. I still felt that pain, everyday but over the years it has eased and I was able to think happily about her and forget about how ill she was in the end. For her, I believed in heaven.

"Yes and her step father" Carlisle continued when I didn't speak. Watching Isabella in that much pain was more than heart breaking, I felt this need to got to her, to comfort her but she didn't even know who I was and her mother wasn't even gone yet. Could I stop this for her? I wondered idly before realizing I had no idea when or what happened, if I tried they think I was crazy and if fate really existed, it would find a way to still take them.

"Poor girl" Esme said as she stroked my shoulder noticing how tensed I was.

"I cant take it, Edward your in too much pain" Jasper barely spoke from the other side of the room but it had everyone's attention.

"Its switching" Alice suddenly said.

"The future?" Carlisle stepped closer, intrigued.

"No, just, its changing to another vision, it wants to show me something?" she spoke unevenly like she didn't understand how that was happening.

It was another one of me and her, we were sitting on her bed but she still looked upset, I was trying to watch her from the corner of my eye without her noticing.

"So you must think I'm a complete nut case right? I mean I get it… I kinda…"

Did she really think that? Vision me suddenly moved from the bed and was kneeling in front of her. I took her hands in mine, she felt so delicate and warm. So perfect. "Not at all. I know what its like Bella, to lose your family. I lost mine as well." Bella? Is that what she liked to be called?

"I'm sorry… I …" she began to apologize but it wasn't necessary, she hadn't done anything wrong.

"It was a very long time ago but I still miss them. Its different now, when I think of them its not always sad. I remember the good times, the happier memories and in that I find my peace." There was something about this girl that seemed to drag the truth straight from me. I never spoke to anyone about how I felt, especially not about my human family and I kept it a secret most of the time how often I would think of then. Occasionally I would ask Carlisle to think back to my mother, my human memories were becoming lost and the thought of losing her completely was more than I could handle.

I watched as a small tear escaped her deep chocolate eye and slid down her face. It broke my heart.

"It gets better Bella" I said as I was wiping the tear from her cheek.

"Promise?" her voice was so low, I was certain if I didn't have vampire hearing I wouldn't have heard it. The tears came more freely then, as she looked deep into my eyes it was as if she let everything go.

"Oh Bella." I reached up, taking her in my arms and pulled her to the floor. Her body against mine was like nothing I had ever felt. "I promise" I whispered trying to soothe her.

She let go then, to watch her crying so hard was almost more than I could bare, at one point I nearly told Alice to end the vision, to let me out. I had no idea how I would live through that when it actually happened. I held her tighter and she did the same. I could feel the need from her, she needed me as much as I needed her. The vision started to flicker, jumping, skipping bits… I wanted to see it all but they mustn't be certain yet.

When it finally steadied, I was lying in her bed under the covers… with her, I had her encircled in my arms. I was holding her? She wasn't fighting it? Her eyes were fluttering closed but she seemed determined to stay awake to look at me. I stroked her skin, I could feel the silk of her skin burning on my finger tips as I watched what would be. I wouldn't be alone. I was humming something, it was unknown, I mentally raced through every bit of music I had heard or created and it fitted none… hmmm.

"Sleep now my Bella, I'll still be here tomorrow." I said as the vision ended and kicked me out. My Bella? I had called her that… is that what she would become… My Bella and I, her Edward.

I took a deep breath and sighed when I realized her scent was no where to be found in the room.

"You love her" Alice said loud and clear. It wasn't a question and I couldn't deny it. I did. I loved everything about her but I didn't even know her. It was completely crazy.

"A human?" Emmett said as the shock of what he just heard nearly knocked his legs from beneath him.

"Your in love with this Isabella?" Esme asked and I couldn't help but smile as I corrected her.

"Bella." The grin spread wider now, I couldn't control it. I couldn't remember a time when I smiled like this. "My Bella."

"How typically Edward" Rosalie laughed as she walked over to take a seat on the couch. "Falling in love with a human… its like Hollywood only more predictable." She laughed again but I took no notice of her… My Bella.

"A human and a Vampire…" Carlisle said loud but it was directed at himself. I could tell it was overly intriguing to him. "Hunter and Prey" he was lost deep in thought and I tried to sneak a peak to see what he was thinking. 'I've never heard of it before. What would happen… would he change her?'

There was something about that thought that seemed to boil my blood. I wouldn't condeem such a perfect angel to this doomed existence. I couldn't. "NO" I yelled before I realized I was shouting. I was staring at him as I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge to try and calm myself. When I spoke again it was barely a whisper. "No… I … she doesn't deserve to be doomed… I couldn't" I spoke honestly, it was all I had left. Carlisle nodded and walked over to pat my other shoulder.

"Then what?" Emmett asked. His normal jokiness was gone and the serious Emmett we hardly ever saw had come out.

"You'll figure it out." Carlisle said as he motioned for the others to leave. As they left he turned one last time. "Let yourself be happy son." Before he closed the door behind him.

***

As the weeks flew past I found my faith in the vision lessening as she didn't turn up. Maybe she would never come. I wanted to know more and so I had Alice looking at least once a day but there was never anything more. I basked as she allowed me to relive the stolen moments she did have and even when she wasn't around I relived them from my memory. My days were filled with My Bella and with her stuck at the forefront of my mind, I found the hilarious fantasies well… just that… Hilarious.

After two months had passed I found myself questioning everything. Did this girl really exist? I knew what I was about to do was more than wrong but I couldn't help myself. I needed to know that I was waiting for something that was real. I had insane thoughts that maybe Alice had some how conjured it but then I found flaws everywhere with that. It was passed midnight, I knew Chief Swan would be fast asleep and so I decided I would find my evidence. The downstairs windows and doors were locked. He was a police officer, I guess he couldn't have been too careful.

I scaled the house, looking for another opening. Chief Swans window was wide open but I decided that was pushing my luck, I moved around there was a darkened room, the window shut but not locked. I slowly lifted it and climbed through into the darkened room. Even in this level of dark my eyesight was still perfect and as I looked around I realized I was standing in a girls room, there was childish drawings and some old toys that laid untouched. I walked over to take a closer look at the drawings, there was one that caught my eye. It was that same drawing every child made. Three stick figures with a house behind it. Each figure was named; Mummy, Bella, Daddy. But there was only the three. I scanned the room then, this was My Bella's room. She did exist! I took in a deep scent but there was nothing left in here, it had been too many years. I looked over to the bed and realized it wasn't the same as the one in the vision, nothing was… even the wall color was different. My Bella must have decorated it when she moved in.

I headed out of the room and down the stairs, taking in all the photos, looking for something that would give me more proof. Baby photos all the way up to young adult… Is this Bella? She looked about twelve. I laughed lightly as I saw the cute ones and the funny ones and realized that in every picture she had some kind of cut. Humans! I laughed in my head. Some of them just weren't born very graceful.

The more up-to-date ones were over the fire place in the living room, I ran at vampire speed when I saw my Bella's, deep chocolate eyes staring at me from across the room. There were ones of her and Charlie. He looked exactly like he did now so I assumed this was Bella now. I took the photo out looking for the date stamp, they were from this summer gone. She still looked younger here but not that far off the visions. Maybe Alice was right, maybe soon would come quickly. I put the picture back together and began walking towards the stairs, I had my proof and I knew she was coming… so it was time to go.

As I was turning for the stairs, I looked down and noticed a small parcel sitting on the floor. The writting on the lid said Isabella Swan and her address in Phoenix - this was for Bella - I stood for a moment, contemplating what might be in the box and if I should open it. I gave into the side that told me I should and picked it up, slowly taking the lid off. Her scent hit me full force. The lid hit the floor before I could stop it, the shock of the smell nearly drove me insane. Bella's scent in the visions were strong but on this - I took out the contents, it was a small navy jumper - her scent was a force of nature. This was My Bella's. the note inside was from Charlie explaining how it ended up in his bag and he meant to send it straight away but got side-tracked.

I found myself stuck then, if her scent from a jumper she hasn't been around in months can have that affect, what will the full on scent do to me. The visions were much weaker compared to this. La Tua Cantante. I heard the word whisper over and over in my head. The answer was clear. I needed to get used to her scent as much as possible.

Charlie's phone went off then, he moved before answering it. "Hell-o" He dragged the word out due to his sleepiness. I couldn't make out the other side of the conversation from where I stood but it sounded like the voice was panicking. "I'm on my way" I heard him tumble out of bed and him rummage around. I stood directly in the path he would take in a few moments holding the box and not knowing what to do with it. As I heard him coming towards the door, I fled and hid in the living room - still holding the box in my hands - praying he wouldn't come in or notice it missing. Thankfully he did neither before running for his gun and heading to his cruiser.

I went back to Bella's room to look around and I couldn't help but notice how I already felt drawn to here. I dropped the box in the bottom of her walk-in and took the jumper with me. I needed to get use to it and I couldn't do that without this. I hoped Charlie wouldn't notice it missing, I'd have to keep an ear open and if he does notice, return it in the laundry or something. Humans did things like that all the time. I didn't bother using the front door knowing that my balcony window was open.

As I landed in my room, I quickly moved to get one of the sealant bags which Alice used for our designer clothes. It was the type that would lock any smells from getting into the clothes so I assumed it would also lock any from getting out. I threw the dark Armani suit to the floor, I was never going to wear it again, I wasn't even sure why we bothered to keep the clothes. Alice was very set on her wear once rule. Crazy pixie. I hung my Bella's soft navy jumper inside it and zipped it up tightly to test if my theory was right.

When I opened it again, the smell hit me just like it did at Charlie's. I couldn't help my smile. The smell was setting my throat on fire but it meant that she was real, that she was coming and for that I would take this torture everyday. Sitting on my sofa I pulled the jumper over my face allowing it to assault me, Emmett may have lost control twice but I wouldn't. I couldn't. If I killed her I was already positive it would be the end of me.

***

More time passed and with everyday that flew by I clung to the scent on the jumper, to the memory of it from the visions. Every night I would surround myself with it. I would get used to it before she got here! I still couldn't get the imagine of my frustration from the grocery store out of my head every time I replayed the vision. Was it the scent that frustrated me, maybe it was a lot stronger in person or was it something else. The way I was staring at her as if her mind wasn't adding up to me or something. Maybe like her father, her thoughts are gibberish at times, or at least to me. That hadn't been a fun day when I tried to see if Charlie had noticed the missing jumper and all I could get from his mind was half of words and not a single sentence. It had driven me crazy. Subconsciously I had hoped that by following Charlie's mind I would know when my Bella was getting here but apparently not. The one clue I had was the fact I knew Charlie was in phoenix for the funeral. It would be all over town that the Chief was gone and so I would know when to expect her.

Every time I hoped to see her sooner, I felt this awful guilt take over me. Although not directly, I was hoping her mother would die sooner and that didn't sit right with me. After realizing this, every time I thought of her I felt ashamed for wishing that on her. Jasper had picked up on it once and questioned me about it, I explained my logic and he had full out laughed at me. I didn't think it was funny but apparently it was. I lost my temper and started shouting at him. That was the day the others - apart from Alice, who already knew from the visions - realized just how much I had fallen for this girl. They tried to be sportive but most of the time they couldn't wrap their heads around it. I guess I couldn't blame them, it wasn't exactly a natural thing, but neither were we. It had been after I snapped at Jasper, when I had read his thoughts that I realized he was not laughing at my Bella or her pain, he was laughing at me.

'How is it, that no matter what it is, its your fault in your eyes. Her mother dying is not your fault and the fact that your there for her is something to be proud of. They are humans, they live, they die. Its fate.' I couldn't stay made at him after that.

***

Another few weeks had passed and my desensitizing plan was working so all night and most of this day I stayed with the jumper, allowing it to desensitize me but I was worried, even in that bag it was still losing her scent and being replaced with mine. I noticed the TV on louder downstairs and realized everyone was there but me, watching a news report. I gave up on the jumper for now and headed for the stairs after sealing it tightly. I had been so wrapped up in Bella land that I had completely lost touch with what was happening in the world. For the whole family to be watching it, it must have been important.

Before I even reached the bottom step, Alice had turned to look at me with a glum expression. "Plane crash."

"Oh" I hated hearing about things like that, why couldn't all humans die of natural causes, why did it always have to be something so horrible and scary. I started to imagine what it would be like, the last thoughts of the humans as the plunged from the sky. Then another thought hit me. My Bella on there. For the first time, I was actually terrified by how human she actually was. Jasper picked up on my mood.

"You okay Edward?"

"Passing thought" I barely got out.

"Bella on the plane?" Carlisle said it and I wondered if he was the one able to read minds. I shrugged. "It's okay son, you can keep her safe once she gets here." His words hit me. I would keep her safe, nothing would ever hurt my girl again. I wouldn't allow it. That smile from the meadow, she deserved to wear it all day, every day and I would see to it that she could.

As I turned to walk away - the idea of Bella on board was still haunting me - the sound of the news reporter caught my attention.

"A breaking news update" he began. "Flight 4087 from Phoenix to Rio has crashed" My mind definitely caught the Phoenix part and I rushed to the TV, standing next to Carlisle.

"Alice, tell me Bella wasn't on that plane" the worry in my voice broke every word as I said it. Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder and Esme wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Nope her future is still there" As she said the words, I nearly fell to the ground with the pure relief.

"We have just received confirmed reports" the news anchor continued. "That LA Dodgers newest player Phil Dwyer was on board." Phil Dwyer? I had been so occupied with Bella that I really hadn't listened to Emmett in months, he was only telling me last week about the new line up and I had totally blocked him out.

"OH MAN" Emmett yelled as he launched the remote at the TV. Alice grabbed it before it could do any damage. We all turned to him. "Sorry! Just… I was looking forward to seeing that dude play" I shook my head and turned back to the report.

"Next up is a quick look back at the life of Phil Dwyer for all you Dodgers fans" The blonde haired presenter said. I huffed, sad but bored of it already. It amused me how quickly they made these look-back shows. The person isn't even buried and they are announcing it like he's been dead for years. Like a special treat. Sickening.

The TV stayed on but I was completely restless and moved to the back window. "Anyone up for a hunting trip later. Maybe for a few days, I need to do something other than wait for her." I said that last bit quietly but they all heard and all understood what I meant.

"I'm up for it" Alice chirped. "I'm bored of the local food" she laughed.

"Hunting's always a good thing for me" Jasper said matter-of-factly. I had to laugh at that. Poor Jasper.

"Yeah sure, whatever" Emmett said still sulking over the baseball player.

"What will you tell the school?" Esme asked, as she hugged into Carlisle.

"Rock climbing trip or something?" I shrugged, normally Carlisle came up with excuses, I looked to him but he just shrugged.

"Alright everyone Shh…" Emmett called out, we all looked at him in disbelief "For two minutes, please I just want to watch this in peace. Please!"

"Emmett said please, twice! That doesn't happen often" Rosalie laughed as we all took our seats and allowed him his two minutes silence.

"Welcome back your watching Sky News. Flight 4087 has crashed, the police are suspecting that it was an electrical fire on board. So far no black box has been recovered." I started to zone out thinking of my Bella again and her smile and then the tears and the pain. Pain that was heartbreaking, pain she didn't …

"Edward"

"What?" I snapped out of it as Jasper growled my name.

"Stop with the depressing emotion PLEASE" he growled back at me.

"Sorry" I ran my hand through my hair.

"Shhhh" Emmett huffed. I turned my attention back to the news then, the look back had already started and didn't seem to be very in-depth at all. Maybe two minutes of silence was too long. I sighed. Looking around the room I noticed that everyone was paying attention. Wow. I really had lost touch with reality recently maybe I should watch.

"… only two years ago that Phil Dwyer married the love of his life Renee."

"Renee?" I repeated. Remembering the vision of Renee and Phil.

"Renee and Phil" Alice suddenly said.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhh" Emmett growled.

"What?" Carlisle asked.

"Shhhh" He huffed again.

"Bella's mums name is Renee and step dad…"

Carlisle cut me off "Phil. Do you think…" But didn't finish

I was suddenly very interested in this news report. Sitting forward I was looking for any clues to my Bella.

"Phil and Renee left behind Phil's step daughter Isabella." I stood instantly as I watched them flash my Bella on to the screen.

"BELLA" I said louder than I realized.

"That's Bella?" Rosalie said staring at the picture, obviously not impressed. I ignored her.

"Wont be long now" Alice said as she danced over to me but all I could think of was the pain she must be feeling.

"Poor girl" Esme said from Carlisle's side as she watched the screen.

"Edward" Jasper shot at me again.

"Sorry Jazz, it's just, I know she's in pain and I cant do anything for her… but sit and wait." I saw the way he looked at Alice then and I heard him imagining it from his view.

"No, your right. That's got to suck." Jasper said as he kept his eyes on Alice and motioned for her to go to him.

I noticed then that Emmett hadn't said anything as he saw her for the first time, I was expecting some kind of comment but nothing so I listened. '…suck, she lost them both. Poor Bella. Isabella, Bella, Izzy, Bells… Nah, Bella. Bella. Hmm. Edward will look after her though. She's got her dad as well. She's got us all. I wonder if I'll scare her, I hope not.' I was surprised by his comments I didn't expect him to be thinking like that. '… she's so little, Edward will take care of her, he wont let, she's lucky. She already means everything to him… I wonder if she's nice. I wonder will she really take what we are so calmly. Poor Bella. She's gonna be sad. Hmm. But she has Edward. He'll help her. And Esme, she's a good mum. She's little but I'll protect her. No ones gonna hurt my little sis!…' I had to smile at that, he wanted to protect her, not just that but the determination, his mind was set to protect her.

It had begun. She was coming soon. I just didn't know when.

***

Three days had passed and Alice was still looking for clues but the funeral was still set for the future so it hadn't happened yet. Hmm. I wonder…

"Edward, I am not phoning the police station again!" Carlisle said as I asked him for the tenth time. "They told us yesterday they don't know. At least leave it a few days. Your being too obvious."

"Fine" I let out in a huff. "Your right. I'm just restless. The longer she takes the longer she's alone"

"I know son. You cant change that."

I sighed, I knew I was being immature but the thought of her in that much pain really hurt and then add to it that she is alone, its unbearable.

***

I took everyone's advice and went hunting for a couple of days, leaving Esme and Carlisle alone at the house. Carlisle promised me that he found out anything he would tell me immediately. This was the first time, ever, that I had left my phone while I hunted. There was no way I was missing that call. Carlisle had rang this yesterday morning saying that the funeral was held the day before so anytime from now on she might be coming. He also spoke to the school and found out Charlie had rang about enrolling her but they weren't even sure what date she was starting.

As I walked in the door, Esme was pacing - something she only did when she was stressed - the uneasy look on her face told me something was seriously wrong. 'I hope we don't have too, it would kill Edward. It wouldn't be fair to him. Oh.'

"Mum what's wrong?" I asked as I walked over and encircled her in my arms.

"I heard chatter, apparently we haven't been seen ever shopping in the grocery store and the gossip is flying. We need to do something before it's too late. The kids have spoke up saying that they don't remember seeing any of you eat and one doctor asked Carlisle about you all. I think they might call social services about you kids not being treated right." I was stunned. We would normally take off under these situations.

"But Bella" I said.

"I know son, I know. That's why we need to do something." She held me tighter.

"Everything okay?" Carlisle said as he walked in and noticed our embrace.

"Bella" I said, I still couldn't manage to say the words.

"You told him about the situation." Esme nodded and Carlisle smiled. "Don't worry" he said turning to me. "We can fix this. Everyone now. Get your coats and dress for the weather its raining. We need to look the part."

As the rain belted down on the windscreen, I drove behind Carlisle trying to catch on to some thoughts. Many were of My Bella, the Chiefs poor daughter who's mother took her when she was a baby and blah blah… the story changed every five minutes. I would know that story, the real one, one day soon… hopefully. I sighed. We pulled up in front of the old hole they called a grocery store. It was beyond me how humans ate most of that stuff and even further was why they would buy it from somewhere like this. I just didn't get it at all.

As we walked through I picked up on the cashiers thoughts 'oh it's the Cullen's, Newton's not going to believe this.' Gossip nothing but gossip. We were throwing everything in the trolley, trying to make it look like we really like this stuff.

"Ooo pop tarts!" Alice bounced as she threw them in the trolley. It hit me then, it was the vision. I put my hand on her shoulder and looked at the others. "What Edward?" she asked amused.

"Alice look around you, look at what your wearing!" I said under my breath.

"oh, oh, OHHHHH"

"What's going on?" Carlisle leaned over trying to look as if we were in deep conversation.

"My Bella" I let the name slip off my tongue as the doors opened and Chief Swan walked in, followed by my Bella.

* * *

_The next chapter is going to be more from edward _

_:) hope you liked it :)_

_Press it, Press it, Press it! HAHA!_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter three: Scents**_

* * *

EDWARDS POV

* * *

Her scent assaulted everything in me. I had been a fool to believe I had somehow managed to be desensitized by her jumper and the visions. They held nothing compared to the real thing. It took every ounce of my being not to run and take her right there in front of my family and Charlie. I could hear her heart beat, I could hear it pumping her warm blood through her system, I could even hear the monster growling at me, rejoicing at the thoughts of it but that was all I could hear. This small distraction gave me that little bit more energy to look at her face.

Pain. Just like I had expected.

I knew she was thinking as she watched the conversation between Carlisle and her dad and yet, there was nothing. Where was her thoughts. I felt that frustrated expression I had seen so many times in the vision take over my face. This was why! I cant hear her! I found that small piece of information had over written by sudden urge to kill my Bella. My frustration turned to curiosity and I found myself studying her, looking for any clue to her thoughts. As I stared she raised her deep brown eyes to mine and I felt the thickness of her despair and depression taking over my own emotions. Jasper started sending me quick waves of calm as he registered my emotion and the others introduced themselves. I couldn't concentrate on their thoughts as I found myself completely absorbed with her.

"I'm fine big bro'' she played Emmett at his own game and I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. She shared the most intriguing look with her father, clearly questioning Emmett's sanity before I received one last wave from Jasper and thankful I was able to compose myself enough to finally talk to my angel, My Bella.

I cleared my throat. "I'm Edward" I held my hand out and as she took it - look wryly at it - I felt a deep surge rush through me. I assumed it was some strange vampire sense that allowed me to know that she was indeed my La Tua Cantante and so when she pulled her hand back, I had also assumed it was from the coldness of my touch.

"Electric shock" she muttered and I found myself even more confused.

"You felt that?" what did that mean? how did she feel that if it was a vampire thing? Maybe it was something else…

"Er… Yeah" she mumbled again and I could read the rest of what she didn't say just from looking at the expression deep in her eyes. She had thought it was obvious that she would too feel it and if I had been mortal, so would I have thought the same. I didn't have anything new to add as I watched her stare at me, waiting for more. Alice must have noticed because she kicked the conversation to a start again but Charlie answered for Bella.

I noticed how Charlie had beckoned Carlisle to move with him, to have a small private conversation and I noticed how it didn't slip Bella's awareness. As she looked intently at Alice, I noticed how her head moved slightly to the right, giving her a better chance at hearing the important conversation from behind. She was very observant. When they hadn't started, she continued the conversation with Alice, only to slightly lean her body back. When they did begin, I couldn't help but smile at the small smile that played on her lips. She had tricked them into thinking she wasn't listening to them. I noticed the small flickers in her eyes as she heard the painful plea from Charlie and it became instantly obvious she wasn't paying attention to the rest of us.

'Edward she's not listening. That's rude!' Rosalie barked at me.

'Poor Bella. Should I keep muttering about nothing?' Alice asked me as she turned slightly to see my reaction I gave her a small nod and so she continued.

When Bella realized she had been caught she gave an answer that made absolutely no sense to the conversation but we all let it slide. At least I tried, I couldn't help smirking at her. She caught me. Oops. I watched her own lips twitching again but I wasn't the only one who noticed. Charlie was staring at her in disbelief and he looked to Alice trying to figure out what ever had made her snap out of her 'Zombie mode' as he had called it earlier in his thoughts. He looked back at Bella then but realized her eyes weren't on Alice.

'The boy' his mind shouted at him as he turned to look at me, my own smirk pronounced on my features. 'what… if… did… but… I… how?… miss? How… no… maybe… is he?' I found myself as frustrated as ever with his thoughts although I was suddenly aware and happy that at least Charlie offered me some clue as to what he was thinking. Unlike My Bella.

She stood there looking at me with the most adoring features carved with pain and curiosity. She needed help and I would give it to her. I would always protect her.

***

"So that was Bella. How you feeling bro?" Emmett's loud voice broke my deep thoughts as we entered the house. I didn't mean to be so lost in my own mind but I couldn't help relive every moment of our conversation and try to figure out more about her.

"Yeah that was the longest time you've ever stayed silent for. I think I liked it." Rosalie laughed as she put some of the bags on the counter top. Some how I had picked up most of the bags before heading in doors and yet I had no memory of it. Hmm.

"Oh, Bellaland has taken him again" Jasper laughed as well but I noticed the small pixie was being quiet for a change. I allowed my mind to search and found hers instantly.

'… didn't deserve this, that poor girl. Maybe I should go see her tonight'

I growled. "No you wont." I demanded. I was going to see my girl tonight, not her. She could and would get to know Bella but not before me.

"Fine." She flung at me. Her small pixie eyes looked even darker than usual.

"Carlisle" I called and he reentered the room to see what I wanted. "I heard you say you'd go over later. Can I come?" I knew it was a long shot but I needed to see her again.

"I don't know if it's the best idea Edward."

"Please. We can say I'm a student. If she doesn't want me there, I'll go but please." I begged.

"Okay. But if she seems like she wants to be alone, you must leave. Let her make the choices here Edward." He was forever giving advice and I would forever follow it. I nodded and ran to my room. I needed to prepare. I would be in her small house with her, with her scent. I needed to calm myself.

I was staring out the window wondering what my Bella was doing when I realized that the sun had already started to set. It was time.

The trip to Bella's house was quiet but I knew Carlisle was sending his thoughts occasionally to me, begging with me to listen to him tonight. I would.

I listened as we pulled up but there was no speaking, the TV was on, two heartbeats were thumping away but nothing more. "Maybe she's watching TV" I said mainly to myself but knowing that Carlisle was watching me trying to figure out my thoughts.

Charlie answered the door and Carlisle explained that I was studying and if its okay with Bella, it would be helpful. At first Charlie's thoughts were completely against it until he remembered mine and Bella's exchange in the shop, he nodded then and allowed me to step inside.

"If it will help" Charlie mumbled but both Carlisle and I caught it. We sat in the living room, the tv was on but low - I couldn't help searching the room for her as they spoke pleasantries before turning to the matter at hand - my mind shifted then and I suddenly wanted to know everything that my girl had been through.

"She doesn't speak, well hardly. And eating, she hasn't really eaten anything since. I've tried, I've even ordered her favorites but it seems like it repulses her." My Bella needed to eat to be healthy, I suddenly felt my worry for her health become a dominant thought process. "She doesn't really sleep, when she manages she talks and cries, a few times she screamed. I'm lost Carlisle. I don't know what to do to help her." I was staring up the stairs aware of exactly where my girls room was but there was no noise.

"Is she sleeping now?" I interrupted before Carlisle could speak.

'Be careful Edward' Carlisle warned with his thoughts. 'If Charlie hates you, it wont be easy to get close to Bella.'

"No. She's sitting in a chair looking out the window. She's been that way since we got home. I've gone up a few times but its like she's in a trance." he shrugged. Poor Charlie, his whole world must feel like its crashing down on him. Maybe I could ask Jasper to help him for a few nights, the poor man looked ready to drop from sleep deprivation.

"May we" Carlisle nodded towards the stairs and we followed him up. We stood at the door for a moment, watching.

"Bells, Bella there are people here to see you" he spoke clearly and loud and so when she didn't turn around I was surprised. "Bella." he tried again before giving up with an expression that clearly said 'see what I mean'.

"Bella, it's me Carlisle… may we talk" but she ignored him as well. I watched as his forehead creased deep in thought. He decided to try knocking but to no avail.

I motioned to Charlie if I could try and he nodded so I walked over to where she sat, taking deep breaths along the way allowing the venom to flow only to bite it back. I placed my hand on her shoulder and softly spoke her name. I almost made the mistake of calling her My Bella but I realized just in time. She jumped obviously startled, she really must have been deeply lost in thought.

"Oh… Shit." She spoke before throwing her hand to cup her mouth. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Sorry… I… I err… didn't hear you… crap" She barely got out.

"Yeah you seemed pretty out of it" There was this small piece of hair that was dangling in front of her face and I couldn't help but follow the urge to touch her again, to move the piece of hair. It looked silky but the feeling was something more. It took me all I could do not to keep touching her. "Are you okay?"

"Ask me again in ten minutes once my heart calms down" The laughter flew from my lips as I took in her sarcasm, my Bella sure was funny.

"Sorry Bells, we've been calling you for awhile." My dad and Charlie stood motionless in the doorway watching our exchange.

"Dr Cullen" She flew to her feet. "Hi."

"Hello Bella, I hope its okay that I brought Edward?" why did she look so dizzy?

"Sure" she didn't sound too sure, maybe Carlisle was right maybe this was a bad idea.

"Edward wants to be a doctor so I'm helping him with his studies. He can go if you like?" I silently prayed that she allowed me to stay, even if it was just out of being polite.

"No" She said too quickly. "He can stay" I couldn't help the smirk that took over my features. Her fast reaction clearly showed that she wanted me here as much as I wanted to be here. But why? I knew why I needed her but did she understand that she might come to want me?

Before heading for the bed, she turned her chair around to face the bed. That was strange. I couldn't seem to understand why until she motioned for Carlisle to sit. I stood there, waiting for her to motion to me but I couldn't help but look at how much this room had changed since my last visit. I searched until I found her music, films and books. I wanted to see if we had anything in common, I hoped we did but I found it hard to believe I would with a teenage girl. I tried to style it out, I wanted Charlie or Bella to think I wasn't being nosey. But I couldn't help but look back to the offensive book that sat on the bed side table. 'Vampire Diaries'. When they first came out, I like Alice, thought it would be interesting to see just how this human had written about our race. She had nearly everything wrong, except for the main vampire. He lived off the blood of animals but it made him weaker. This was true of our kind but still… I looked at the crease in the spine and realized that my Bella had been reading this. This is what she thought of us… hmm. The irritation spread and I knew I would be growling if I didn't look away. So I tried but every time I tried to focus on something else, my thoughts slipped back to that damn book.

"So… what do you want to talk about?" Carlisle was staring at her, learning but occasionally I noticed his eyes flicker to me.

'What are you looking at son?' I moved my eyes back to the book and stared at it, until he realized what I was doing. He too had read this book and laughed his way through it. It wasn't that it wasn't a good book, or an interesting one. It was simply because it was of our kind.

Bella dragged my attention back by patting the bed next to her. "You can sit you know. I don't bite" Bite? She caught me staring at it? Damn! Did she know? Did she notice some kind of resemblance? I tried to read her mind again… but yet again there was nothing there.

'Calm down. I think she noticed you staring at the book. I think it was a joke. A bad one but a joke. Do you think she liked the book? Maybe that's why she's so understanding' Carlisle mused.

I shrugged at Carlisle and sat down. I hoped not. I wanted her to be understanding because of me, not that damn book.

"Your father gave me the list of medication that was prescribed." Carlisle began.

"Okay…" her expression seemed a little panicked and I saw her trying to look at me without being caught. A small blush began to creep on her face and I instantly realized she was embarrassed.

"I wanted to ask you about them? You were put on anti-depressants… do you think they helped?" with that, Charlie headed for the door.

"I'm not depressed… just sad… I'll get over it" She shrugged but her words held so much more than she realized. She was brave and strong. A fighter.

'She didn't really answer that' Carlisle's thoughts showed me what I had missed. I really needed to pay more attention.

"Have you been taking them?" His eyes narrowed at her.

"If I say no, am I in trouble?" Cringing away from us both.

"No. I think it was the wrong move to put you on anti-depressants. A person should only be given them if they fail to make some improvements after a long period. Everyone should be allowed to grieve." He smiled at her and I couldn't help but feel grateful that he was going to be looking after her.

"Oh well, erm… then no" She bit her bottom lip. I had to stop breathing. I had fantasized over kissing her but now, when she did that, there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her.

"Okay how about the sleeping pills?"

"I took a couple. They didn't work so I stopped."

"They didn't work?" he inquired.

"Nope, mainly made me feel sick" Popping the 'p'.

"Yes, that's a side effect. Hmm. Have you taken any of the medication Bella?" 'No wonder there's no improvement, she's been playing doctor to herself.'

I nearly laughed. Although it was not amusing that she was sad and although he was not in the slightest bit upset with her reaction to all the medication, I knew that getting Bella to take any meds was going to be hard work. The thought of fighting with a tiny human girl was the amusing bit.

She admitted it with a small shake of her head. She looked so sad that I nearly pulled her into a hug but thought better of it. Carlisle was right, this needed to be all her choice.

"Your not going to lecture me?" She asked, raised eyebrows.

"Nope. Your not a child Bella, if you didn't think you needed them or that they were working there was no reason for you to take them. I've seen doctors throw pills towards people in your situation before and I have to admit I've never seen it help. Sometime you just have to heal." he stood up then and nodded his head to me. "I'm going to go talk to your dad. It would be better if I did this alone. Can he…"

She cut him off, too quickly again. "Sure".

"Goodnight Bella"

She turned to look at me. "A doctor huh?" I smiled as I watched my feet, I was finally alone with her and I was scared I was going to mess this up.

"I see what Carlisle does and I want to help people" I answered honestly. One day I hoped that I would be able to do what Carlisle does, a small attempt to make up for my mistakes but I would try anyway.

"Fair enough" She copied my position "So you must think I'm a complete nut case right? I mean I get it… I kinda…" she was figiting and I knew she was freaking out but could she not see that she was perfect in everyway. I couldn't think that way of her and I had to show her. Before I could tell myself to slow down I was kneeling in front of her, her hands in mine. The feeling was so amazing that I didn't want to let go, so I rubbed circles hoping to calm myself down, somehow it had the same effect on her.

"Not at all." My eyes met hers then and I couldn't seem to drag them away. "I know what its like Bella, to lose your family. I lost mine as well." I wanted to be honest with her about everything and I couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to her, to open up. There were things I shared with nobody and this was definitely on that list.

"I'm sorry… I …" why was she apologizing? I shrugged.

"It was a very long time ago but I still miss them." I noticed my voice was quiet, yet filled with all the hurt as I finally let someone in. I tried to cover it back up but realized I really didn't want to. I wanted her to understand that she wasn't alone and that it would eventually not be so bad. "Its different now, when I think of them its not always sad. I remember the good times, the happier memories and in that I find my peace." I noticed her heartbeat pick up slightly and her breath hitch. Her eyes were full of liquid now that was trying to break the barrier. Charlie had told us how she hadn't cried, was he mistaken? Or was this her letting me in? I searched her eyes as I stared deeply into them.

Then one small tear escaped and ran down her cheek. I didn't like the idea of her crying, she didn't deserve to be in pain but I knew this was what she needed. As another one escaped I lifted my hand to wipe it away. "It gets better Bella" I told her softly hoping to reassure her.

I didn't expect a response. "Promise?" Suddenly more tears followed from both eyes as they were flowing constantly down her cheeks, if I could have cried I would have, I would give anything to take this pain from her.

"Oh Bella." I sighed. I didn't care about slow or about giving her the choice in that second. This was not a normal situation, this was no a normal connection between us and so I pulled her onto my lap and embraced her into my arms before answering. "I promise." I didn't really remember much of my human life but the one time my mother had caught me crying after my father died of the Spanish influenza, she had pulled me into a tight embrace and rocked me back and forth. Allowing me to get it all out. So I followed her lead and did the same for my Bella.

Her tears became constant until her whole body was wracked with sobs and shaky breaths. She held me tighter and so I knew she wasn't uncomfortable in my arms, I tightened my hold as well. I needed to get her as close to me as possible. I wanted to protect her. I gently stroked her hair as I rocked her slowly. I put my cheek to her forehead hoping that she wouldn't see the pain I was suffering because of how much she was suffering. My pain I could handle, but hers… I would have given anything to change this for her.

Charlie appeared at the door after noticing the crying. 'if…upset… her… shoot… head' I was suddenly worried about anyone hurting my Bella when Charlie had a gun, then the obvious hit me. It wouldn't matter. Charlie would have to beat me to the person who hurt her because mine would have the same desired effect but I wouldn't use a weapon. He froze when he saw the image in front of him. Me holding his daughter in a loving embrace while she cried her heart out and clung to me. 'what… is…this… boy… so… her… like? Does… he… her…' I gave him a sad smile and spoke loudly once I realized Bella was aware of him. She had instantly stiffened and I knew by her increased heart rate she was panicking a little.

"She's okay Chief Swan"

"Edward the floor probably isn't very comfortable" Carlisle spoke softly as Charlie turned to look at him and then back at us. I looked to Charlie for permission. I motioned to the bed and waited while he debated it. 'No… strange boy… her bed… no… uncomfortable… best for her… maybe… I guess… but only tonight… watch…' he gave me the go ahead and so I moved her to the bed but she started crying harder and clinging to me. I had no intention on letting her go and apparently she felt the same way.

"I'm not going anywhere" I whispered quietly into her ear, Charlie's ears had no chance of picking that up. Carlisle pulled back the covers as I scooted over so that I was sitting in her bed leaning against the headboard, with my angel wrapped tightly in my over protective arms. Charlie walked over then and even though I could hear his mind, I hadn't picked up on what he did next. It surprised me. He really did love his daughter with everything in him.

"She looks cold" He spoke as he lift the covers over the two of us and tucked it tightly around us. "She might be thirsty" he spoke again, heading for the door.

Carlisle just smiled down at the two of us before heading over to her window and pulling the curtains shut. Charlie came in then and hurried to her side with a tall glass of water and some tissues. I could tell by his even more scattered thoughts that he was uncomfortable with this entire situation, especially the tears. With one last look at us, he motioned for Carlisle to come out and talk again.

"Is she okay?" Charlie asked as soon as they were through the door. I knew Bella didn't stand a chance of hearing this conversation but my own curiosity was flaring as I began to think about how to win Charlie's trust with his only daughter.

"Yes, this is what she needed. Just to let go. I cant promise you there will be a huge improvement but she will be a little bit better in the morning." Carlisle answered the worried father.

Did Bella just sniff me? I couldn't help but return it as she planted the idea in my head. I hoped that one day I could get use to her scent, one day it wouldn't call the monster in me out… I hoped. I noticed her wipe her tears away and then she tried to sneakily smell her hair. Had she noticed me take a sniff of her scent? I saw the new flush under the flush that was already radiating her skin and knew immediately that she worried how she smelt.

"Is your son… I mean… he wont try…" Charlie stuttered.

"My son is… well he's not like other boys his age. I've always said he was much more mature. Reading and music, he's very respectful of everyone around him and he likes the same respect. Esme calls him a real gentleman although she cant figure out why he's alone still." Carlisle trailed off, the sadness leaking into his words. I saw Charlie's stare towards my father and knew he was waiting on a clear answer. "No Charlie. Your daughter is perfectly safe, he wouldn't dare hurt her."

A small smile touched her lips then so she must have decided it wasn't too bad… if she only knew how wonderful she smelt to me. I wanted to reassure her again so I cupped her warm cheek in my hand and began gently stroking the remaining tears away but they never stopped flowing. As I stared into her eyes, she stared back into mine. It was a silent conversation and I hoped she understood that I would do anything for her.

Charlie peeked his head around the door then and I heard him sigh as he heard that she was still crying. The tears continued to come and go, her thoughts must have been centered on her mother and Phil. Every time the hysterics hit her I couldn't help but tighten my arms around her as she buried her face beneath my chin. I knew it was my natural desire to protect my other half but this felt like more.

Charlie continued to check on us a few more times "Should I get her anything?" I gave him a small shake as he turned back for the door. Soon after he walked back in this time addressing my needs like he had forgotten the first time. "Do you want anything?" I could hear the continuous string of chatter in his mind, he wasn't comfortable with me in her bed, holding her but he took my fathers words and my clean record as a small ease to his fears.

Her eyes finally began to get heavy and the sobs seemed to becoming to an end as if she had no more tears to cry. I dropped my forehead against hers as her breath jerked. I decided that she needed to lay down so I slid slightly so that she was completely lying down and pulled her as tightly against my body as possible as I encircled her into my arms once again. I stroked the side of her face as we lay staring into each others eyes and without thinking I began humming the small melody I couldn't seem to ease from my head recently. I watched her eyes fluttering shut, I knew she had to sleep but I didn't want to lose her eyes. They were the only insight to her mind I had and without them I would truly be lost. I watched as she tried to force them to stay open, but knew it wasn't the right move no matter how much I wanted it and so I silently urged her to go to sleep with my humming.

Charlie entered quietly for a human, but even with her back to him she seemed to notice. The tears came again, louder and more frequent. I felt my anxiety level rise but I realized suddenly it was because of Charlie. She was scared he was going to kick me out. She wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her tonight.

"Should I turn off the light?" Charlie whispered to me. I looked up into the chiefs eyes, they were full of warning but it was unnecessary so I calmly responded to him.

"If that's okay with you sir?" I knew that manners meant a lot to him, I had heard him on occasion shouting at the local boys and girl about there lack of manners.

"I'll be just down the hall, I'll come and check often so no funny…"

I cut him off "Wouldn't dream of it sir." There was nothing in this world that could make me hurt this girl.

"Okay then, Goodnight" the light flipped off then and I found myself in the darkness with the only light coming from the hallway. I didn't need the light, my eyes worked just as well in the dark but I liked that she could see me. I was worried that she would be scared of me when the darkness filled her view.

It was amazing how quickly Charlie fell asleep. He must have been so tired and then the small relief from Bella's outburst must have given his mind the small ease to sleep. I shifted slightly so that I was fully lying down with my girl in my arms. I loved this feeling and it was something that I would never want to lose. I pulled her closer and tighter to me as I allowed myself to really hold her entire body to mine. I started humming to her again as I let my fingers play on her warm skin with in the reach of where my hands sat firmly holding her.

She seemed to instantly calm down and let her eyelids close. A small sob continued but nothing compared to the hysterics that had shown earlier. She seemed as if she wanted to sleep but was unsure, so I decided to make an assumption that it was that she was worried I would be gone when she awoke. I knew she didn't want me to leave earlier and I hoped that my assumption was right.

"Sleep now my Bella, I'll still be here tomorrow." It wasn't until after I said it that I realized that I had made a mistake. I had been so occupied on hoping my theory was correct that I had called her My Bella. I was hoping beyond anything that she hadn't taken notice of my words but that was squashed shortly after her breathing evened out and she fell into a light deep sleep. She began muttering incoherently before she finally said what I hoped she wouldn't.

"My… Bella… hmmm… why did he… am I?… hmmm" I stiffened as I realized even in her dreams she was questioning my name for her. She had heard me and fully registered it. Now she questioned it, I was in big trouble for that mistake. She would assume I was a stalker, which I technically was but only for her. She would truly be horrified by me and run away screaming. Alice's visions were wrong. She was too good for me, I didn't deserve her and she would never want me the same way, she was going to hate me when she woke up and demand that I left. Maybe I should now?

"hmm… pretty… hmmm…. Meh… My Bella… hmmm… perfect" a small smile hit her features and I was utterly lost. What was perfect? Was she okay with what I called her. "My Bella." she mumbled again but this time her smile spread even further. She liked the idea of me calling her that? I was completely confused. Anyone in there right minds would have been scared by a comment like that so early, after all she only knew me for a few hours. "My…" Oh hell, she was going to keep saying it until it registered that she should want to run from me and it. "hmmm… My…." a full smile spread across her face then as she shuffled even closer to me so that our bodies were completely touching. Her arms tightened and her small leg moved to hitch over my thigh, locking herself even more on to me. She sighed before muttering again "Mine!" Her voice was full of authority and possessiveness as she spoke that word at me. Was it possible she felt that pull to me as well that I felt for her.

She got quieter as the time went on and I looked at every angle and possible meaning behind her words tonight. Maybe she wasn't talking about me or maybe she thought she was lying with someone else. It was possible she had a boyfriend back in phoenix, she was beautiful and lovely and perfect in everyway. Yes, that was it, she was confusing me, when she woke up she would be ashamed of her actions, thank me and move on. Would I let her move on? I wasn't sure I would no matter what Carlisle said about it needing to be her choice. Would I allow her that choice? I liked to think I would but I really wasn't sure. I felt her head move slightly as she took another deep breath and sighed happily at what she smelt. I couldn't help but hope that all my newest assumptions were wrong and that she did indeed want me.

"hmmm… so… perfect…" I smiled down at her imagining that she was speaking of my scent to her. I hoped for her it was perfect. "hmmm… angel… my angel…" wait? What? that's what I called her. She was my angel. Was she calling me hers? Was she even talking about me?

I felt that last drop of hope leave me then as I allowed doubt to fill my mind and my body. She would never want a monster like me. I would never deserve an angel like her.

"hmmm… My…" she began again but this time it seemed to flow a little more easier. " My… hmmmm… My angel… Hmmm… so… Perfect… hmmm… My angel… My… My…. My… My Edward… Hmm"

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AN: Hey everyone reading this... hope your enjoying it. would just like to say thanks to everyone that reviewed. they were amazing and it really made me smile to read them so THANK YOU! im planning to update at least once a week :) Things are going to be very different. i will still include the characters like Jacob and the others, but bella isnt going to have an easy time in this story at all... mainly because im jealous of her. haha! soooo... be warned.... haha!

SM owns everything apart from my story line... i did ask for edward for christmas but santa told me he couldnt force him away from bella...

I know that this has all happened already but i thought you would like to know what was happening in edwards mind and around bella without her knowing... i wont recover points in this story often but i thought this was needed.

if you enjoyed tell me... click that little word down there...

Thanks for reading, until next time :)


	4. Chapter 4

_Your reviews are all amazing and I love every single one of them… thank you soooo much!!!_

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_**Chapter Four : Dazzled?**_

_**Bella's POV**_

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_"I'll never leave you again."_

_"Promise me?" I stared into the blackness searching for the face of the angel's voice I could hear. I wanted to run to him but something told me that I couldn't trust him._

_"I promise. It was the greatest mistake of my life. I love you My Bella. Please believe me."_

_"I…I love you too Edward."_

"… think she's okay. She seemed to sleep well last night sir." His velvet smooth musical voice sounded different, the voice before hadn't done it justice.

"Okay well I'm off to work, there's been an… well, an incident that I have to attend but cant really talk about. I'm trusting you here son, don't make me regret it." That voice was nothing compared. A broken record that kept breaking over every word. His voice was filled with so much warning, I was surprised my angel didn't run from it. "Give me a call if she needs anything or if you have to go, my numbers on the fridge."

"Yes sir. Have a good day." I felt him shifting beside me.

"Yes, you look after her…please. Goodbye Edward." with that final statement I heard the door shut.

Was I awake or still asleep? Did I tell Edward I loved him? No, that had to of been part of the dream… I hope! Ergh! What's wrong with me. I felt the cold arms that were barely touching me a moment ago, wrap around me tightly and pull me towards his cold hard body. Why was he so cold? Had I stolen all the covers? I felt his hand slowly reach up into my hair and start stroking it in smooth fluid motions. Saying that it felt amazing was one of the biggest understatements of my life. I felt the numbness wearing off, being replaced by a feeling I wasn't sure I understood. Why was I not scared? He was a complete stranger. This wasn't right. It wasn't… normal.

"Morning sleeping beauty" the voice was low as he whispered his words into my hair. How did he know I was awake? I barely knew.

"Morning" I croaked out and realized that my throat was on fire. I must have cried so hard that I gave myself a sore throat, great. His hand moved up to my throat then and he started brushing it softly with his finger tips. Could he read my mind or did I sound that bad?

"Is your throat sore? I can get you some water?" he offered.

I was scared to open my eyes, scared that if I did, last night would be nothing but a dream. He would be a nothing but a figment of my imagination. No I didn't want that. I was happy here in my world with my eyes shut. Here, the pain wasn't so bad, I could cope here, I could breath and think and love and laugh, I could even be… happy. No, there was nothing in this world that would tare me away from this dream.

"No thanks" I breathed when I realized that I hadn't answered him and so he started to move. I clutched my hands onto him as tight as I could, not wanting him to leave. It wouldn't matter if I stayed in my dream world, as soon as I felt him move, the pain ripped through me. I needed him, I needed his perfect scent, his cold arms embracing me, the feel of his skin against my forehead and his hands playing with my hair. I need him. WOW my imagination was on fire at the moment. I had never been one with a real active imagination but something must have changed because this felt more than real.

"Bella, open your eyes please" the voice instructed. Did he want me to leave this happy place?

"I don't want too" I admitted sheepishly.

"Why not?" his voice was still as smooth but I could pick out the curiosity that weaved through his musical words.

I blushed. Why was I blushing at my own imagination? Maybe I should see someone… there had to be something wrong with me. Did my brain finally snap from all the stress? "Because then you wont be here" I whispered barely audible.

"Oh." I felt him take a deep breath before pulling me onto his chest, tighter in the lock of his stone arms. "I'm not going anywhere Bella until you send me away. I promise I wont leave you if you open your eyes." His voice was so sincere I wanted to believe him.

"People always leave me" I whispered again, more to myself than to him.

"It's a good thing I'm not a person then." As he spoke I felt him freeze beneath me. Even his breathing stopped. Was he okay? Was this his way of informing me he was nothing more than a dream?

"Please don't leave" I felt a tear slip out of my closed eyelids as I gripped him as hard as I could. A few moments later I felt something on my head. Was that… did he just kiss my forehead.

"I promise." He whispered again. Why was my imagination doing this to me? Did it want me to suffer? Was I suddenly masochistic… "Open your eyes love, I'll still be here."

I sighed, I didn't want him to go, I didn't want to lose his voice from my brain. I sighed heavily again as I opened my eyes slowly. The light was shinning through the small crack that was showing between the two curtains that hung closed on the window, hitting my eyes at full force. It wasn't a sunny day here in Forks, I don't think they knew what a sunny day felt like here but at least it didn't look to be raining. I began to sit up, ignoring the tights arms wrapped around me - reminder of my perfect dream - and yet, I could only go so far. Was my brain that warped that I was clinging to the fantasy. I moved my hands to help push me off the bed when they came into contact with a cold hard surface. I spun my head. My angel was staring up at me with the most amused expression.

"Oh oh ohh" managed to escape my lips before I had time to seal them shut. A breathtaking crooked grin spread across his face and before I knew it I couldn't help but smile back.

"Hmm" he sighed out as he studied my expression.

"What?" I asked suddenly very self conscious.

"Your smiling." He spoke so quietly I wasn't sure if I had heard him right. Was I smiling? I lifted my hand to my face… he was right I was. As I stared at him, this mornings conversation suddenly hit me like a smack to the face.

"Oh my god!" I said as both hands flew to cover my mouth.

"What is it?" he jumped up alarmed and pulled me on his lap. "What's wrong?" His arms encircled me again and I instantly felt calmer.

"The… oh… I cant believe I said… oh… crap!" I couldn't find the words, I didn't want to register that I had just made a complete fool of myself in front of this perfect man.

He laughed again and pulled my face to his with his hand while his thumb slowly caressed my cheek. "Don't be embarrassed love. If I had the choice, I would dream about you for the rest of eternity."

What did that mean? "If you had a choice?" I couldn't help but ask, my curiosity spiking. I felt that same freeze as before. I stared into his eyes and I could see deep within them, the panic that was ripping through his thoughts. "Are you okay?" I asked again, this time moving my hands to cup his face. He nodded but didn't say anything.

"Maybe I should go" the words were low and broken and I could easily tell by his lack of movement that he didn't want to go.

"Don't." I said too quickly. "I mean…" I needed something to smooth this whole thing out. "You did promise you would leave me if I opened my eyes." With every words, I felt my voice getting tighter and tighter and I knew that he was probably going to run in the opposite direction now. Great.

He instantly unfroze. "Your right. I did." He smiled at me, again it was breathtaking. How did he do that? "What would you like to do today?" His voice was low but as he spoke he slowly drew small circles onto the skin on my face with his fingertips.

I shrugged, I had no real plans I needed some things for tomorrow but I wasn't sure where to go. "I need to get some bits for tomorrow but I have no idea where to go."

"What kinds of… bits?" He sounded amused again. That was good.

"Pens, books… the usual school stuff" he raised an eyebrow at me and I knew he was wondering why I didn't already have that stuff. "Its all packed somewhere in one of those boxes and I…" I felt the tears starting to build behind my eyes.

"You don't want to go through it all just yet?" I nodded. "Okay then, we could go Port Angeles. There's nothing in this town so that's probably our best bet." He was deep in thought.

"Where's that?"

"It's about an hours drive, give or take. It's the closest shopping center." I was never a shop-a-holic but seriously? What the hell was that about? He studied my face and he must of read the horror that I felt. He laughed loudly and I couldn't help but stare back at him puzzled. "My sister Alice, that's a very similar face expression to the one she made when she found out." He laughed again. I was obviously missing something but I was sure I would find out what soon enough. "Are you hungry?" but he didn't give me a chance to answer, he was already standing. "You get dressed and I'll make you something to eat." He smiled at me and before I knew it he was gone out the door.

As I watched him leave the room, I felt that open hole ripping at my chest. It was as if his touch soothed it away. I wanted to be with him again as soon as possible, so I ran quickly and jumped in the shower before the water was even hot. "CRAP" I yelled as the freezing water caused my body to convulse with shakes. There was a knock on the door within seconds.

"Are you okay?" I noticed his voice shook with the same worried emotion.

"Yyeess… watttter isss… colllld" I said through my teeth clattering. I heard his musical laugh ringing through the house as he descended down the stair way.

The shower was cold, I didn't have time for it to heat up but I noticed that after a while… a long while I got use to it and it wasn't as bad as my initial reaction. Washing my hair was the hardest but I knew that if I was spending the day with him then I would have too. Just my luck… as I washed the last bit of conditioner out of my hair, the water suddenly heated up and before I knew it I was shivering again. I jumped out before I could get too caught up in it. I towel dried my hair as I made my way into my bedroom and pulled out a pair of jeans and the first t-shirt I found out of my box marked 'clothes'. I threw on my converse and headed towards the mirror to survey the damage. My hair was still damp but I could already see the loose curls setting in, I was still deeply pale but it looked as if I had some light of color in my face again.

"Food's ready when you are." I heard the velvet voice sneak up the stairs and hallway to my room and I watched in the mirror as I blushed. Downstairs right now, was the most perfect man in the whole world and to make it even better, he was cooking for me. I knew I was starting to get attached already especially as my heart was pounding and my brain telling my body to run to him.

My eyes though, they still looked sunken and as much as I wanted to see him, I wanted his… approval. He was a Greek god and I looked like a plain Jane who hadn't slept or seen the sun in months. I needed to look better. I dug into my toiletries bag and pulled out the small black makeup bag Renee had given me on my last birthday. Her attempt to make me girly. I applied a small bit of eye shadow and concealer, trying to cover the deep purple that rimmed my eyes. It kind of worked. I used a dark brown/black hoping that I would just look rocker instead of looking like the walking dead. I applied a little eyeliner and mascara, the way Renee had taught me and I had to admit, I did look better.

"Thanks mom" I whispered. Deep down I knew she couldn't hear me but I was hoping that some how she would. I pulled the brush through my hair and headed for the stairs.

As I hit the middle steps, I noticed him standing at the bottom staring up at me. "What?" I asked with a small smile playing on my lips as I continued walking the rest of the steps. His expression was so gentle but I could see that same sadness behind them.

"You look…beautiful" He finished after a deep breath. Was he trying to calm himself. I smiled up at him, noticing his change of clothes. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged.

"Alice dropped them over why you were in the shower." I nodded, showing my understanding but he looked a little embarrassed.

"Well, you don't look so bad either" I said with a huge grin. When had I learned to grin again. I just couldn't help it around him. He showed every sign of a blush - which I knew all too well - without actually blushing. How did he do that? That I needed to learn!

As I hit the last step, he raised his hand to me and I took it. "Shall we?" We headed for the kitchen and he sat me down on the small table that sat next to the window in Charlie's kitchen.

"What's all this?" I said as I looked down. There were pancakes, fruit bowls, cereal, eggs, toast, pop tarts and porridge.

He looked sheepish again. "I didn't know what you liked so I figured I'd make a couple of things and then you could put the rest in the fridge for later or something." He shrugged.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you, this is all amazing." He watched as I picked up the pop tart and took a bite. I couldn't believe I was actually hungry, really hungry. But more than that I couldn't believe how much I was enjoying the taste. I noticed he didn't go to eat anything. "Are you not hungry?"

"I ate while I was cooking." He smiled at me as if he was pleading with me. I really didn't understand. "I wasn't sure if" he continued quickly after watching my expression intensely. "you would take a long time to get dressed and so I thought if you did, you could eat while I drove." I guess that made sense. I shrugged and smiled at him again. I felt like a moron. All I could do was smile at this beautiful man in front of me. Every time I looked into the deep pools of gold, that were his unusual eyes, I felt breathless… dazzled.

As soon as I had eaten as much as I could of his beautiful display of food, I stood and rubbed my belly. "I think I ate too much" I laughed out as he stood and cupped my face with his hands. I could feel his breath on my face as he spoke and I nearly died from holding my exhale. I didn't want to lose that scent in my nose.

"Just making up for the food you haven't eaten recently." He smiled and moved a little closer to my face. "Breathe Bella." I finally exhaled, knowing I had been caught. I felt the blush spreading and I knew it was visible on my face by his smile growing wider. "I love that."

"What?" I asked incredulously. He couldn't be talking about the stupid blush that made me look like a complete fool.

"The way it colors your cheeks" He rubbed soothing circles again over my cheeks and I felt another blush coming. "Hmm, so beautiful"

I was lost. I was swimming in his scent and the feel of his skin on mine. I found my brain unable to find something to say back to him, my body to react to his. Yes! Definitely dazzled.

"Lets go" I barely heard him as he led me out the door and into his car. I was too stunned by everything to take noticed as he revised off the drive and headed towards the town.

What was happening to me today?


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5 : Questions_**

* * *

_Edwards POV_

* * *

I watched her closely from my peripheral vision as I reversed off the drive and on to the street. I didn't want to drive too fast in this neighborhood given that Charlie's neighbors were watching us through the windows. Only in a small town like this on a Sunday morning would the residents have absolutely nothing better to do than watch two teenagers. There minds all held the same questions.

_'Is that Chief Swans love child?'_

_'Isn't that Dr Cullen's son?'_

_'Is that Isabella?'_

_'I wonder what's happening with the chief's daughter and that Cullen boy?'_

I couldn't help but wonder myself… I knew how I felt about her. She was the center of my universe but I didn't know how she felt about me. I took on faith that she was slowly realizing her own feelings for me, hoping with everything that I had that somehow she would be able to love a monster like me.

It was so much easier for Vampires than it was for humans. As vampires we knew almost instantly that our soul mate was standing in front of us, it was a mutual feeling and we knew we could trust it. But for humans, it was different. They had to learn to like someone, to know them. They had no idea if the person was a passing fling or the real deal. Most of them never found there soul mate and that made the idea of true love less real.

I knew I loved her from the very first second I saw her, I felt it. Wither I wanted to believe it or not is a different point… but I knew it. It was in my genetic makeup to know, one of the many things we had above the average human. However, she did not have the same advantages. I saw the way she responded to me and I hoped that it meant that she felt something, even just ten percent of what I felt… even one percent… yes, I would take one percent, I would take anything she would give me.

We continued in silence, all the while my thoughts were trained on her and what it was she was thinking. She was gazing out of the window, a blank look on her face but her eyes gave her away. She was deep in thought about something painful. I didn't have to ask her to know the answer, she was thinking of her mother and she wasn't okay. I wanted to distract her but I didn't know how. As we hit the center of town I decided to be a real tour guide and start explaining where things were.

"That's the exit you take to get to the school." I tried to say casually as she turned in my direction and smiled, a very small give in her rock hard expression. "Over there" I said pointing "Is the only place in town to get take away that's worth eating" or at least that's what I've heard.

A small laugh escaped her lips and I turned my attention back to her. "What?" I asked as I returned her smile.

"Your really taking this tour guide thing seriously, aren't you?" She laughed again. It was like music to my ears, I never wanted it to stop. I laughed with her.

"I don't really know what else to say" I said as I shrugged, she stopped laughing and I instantly regretted my word vomit. There was silence for a few moments before she spoke again.

"Well, you know entirely too much about all my drama and I know nothing… tell me about you?" She offered. That was something I could do but I had to be careful. I didn't want to lie to her but I also couldn't be too honest either.

"What would you like to know?"

"Lets start at the basics." She laughed again. "Its Edward Cullen right?"

I let out my own laugh. "Yes, well there's a few more than just that." She raised her eyebrow at me to get me to continue. I turned back to the road and headed out of the small town while I spoke. "Edward Anthony Mason Cullen."

"Do they have any meaning behind them?"

I nodded not knowing what to say. Well Mason was the surname I went by when I was human. No. That wouldn't be appropriate. "They were passed down from my father and my grandfather."

"Your adopted right?"

"Yes. I'm lucky to have Carlisle and Esme." And I was.

"How long have you been with them?" Her voice was shaky as if she was worried that she would upset me. Silly Bella.

90 years give or take. "Its been awhile." I said, ending that part of the conversation. I knew that there was no way I could tell her the truth just yet and so I couldn't risk making a mistake here. She nodded, understanding my lack of wanting to continue.

"Where did you grow up?"

"Chicago. Have you ever been there?" I asked trying to divert the conversation from me.

"No, Phoenix, Forks and LA. I want to travel, maybe in a few years." She smiled as she turned back to the road, I watched as her face became worried and she turned to the speed reader. "Edward!!!" she yelled.

"Calm down love" I said easily knowing already what she was freaking out about.

"Your doing 150mph."

"I've never crashed." The truth was, I had been so occupied with her questions that I had completely forgotten to drive like a human. I slowed down to the normal speed limit but her eyes never left the reader. "Better?" I asked in a mock tone. Her eyes flicked to mine and squinted her eyes.

"Much" I could hear the open irritation in her voice and she smiled around it. "Charlie's a cop remember. I was brought up to follow the law." She said smugly as she knew I couldn't argue with her on that.

"Hmm" I smiled at her and watched how her smile spread to take over her face. Wanting the personal questions to be over for now, I turned on the stereo but kept it down low to a comfortable background level. I clicked on the CD button and Debussy came on. I was mortified. Here I was trying to impress this girl and I had old fashioned music playing. I moved to turn it off but as I did her hand came down on mine. As if she expected me to turn it off.

"Don't." She said softly as she slid back in her seat releasing my hand, I watched as she closed her eyes and began humming quietly with it. She knew it?

"You know Debussy?"

"Yeah" She breathed out before continuing. "My mom played a lot of classical music, this is my favorite piece." She shrugged as if embarrassed by that.

"This is my favorite too" I said without thinking about it. I was too lost in my thoughts. Was it possible that I could have something in common with this Angel. I felt her hand ghost down on my hand that sat on my thigh, I hadn't even noticed her move. She tightly wove her fingers through mine and I couldn't help but return the gesture. I felt hope rush through my system again. She was freely holding my hand and rubbing her thumb across my fingers in a soothing manner. I couldn't help but look at her and smile as she smiled back up at me.

The rest of the journey was quiet and we eventually pulled into the underground packing at the small shopping mall in Port Angeles. I let go of her hand and instantly missed the touch. I flickered around the outside of the car while her head was lowed to undo her seatbelt. By the time she looked up, I was waiting with her door open and my hand out to help her. She smiled up at me and I watched as her eyes flicked along the route I had just taken, she seemed to be calculating something but I said nothing in return. Maybe she realized how impossibly fast I had made it to her door. I would have to be careful, she seemed very observant and without being able to read her mind, I wasn't sure what I could do and get away with it.

We walked hand in hand through the small shopping mall, I had tried to let go of her hand at one point - scared that she was uncomfortable - But she simply tightened her grip on mine. I wasn't going to complain. Her beautiful scent attacked me as we walked through every shop, the heaters over the entrances making the scent intensified. Thank God for all my preparing or there was no way I could have stopped myself.

"So…" She trailed up looking at me to see my reaction.

"So what?" I asked with a small smile. I tried to read her mind once again but as usual failed miserably.

"Tell me something else?"

I smiled down at her, apparently I wasn't the only one who was inquisitive. "Give me a hint what you want to know."

"Your family… Alice seems nice and Emmett is there…" I knew where she was going with that, I saw it on her face the day in the market. She wanted to know if there was something mentally wrong with Emmett. If only she knew. I couldn't help the loud laugh that escaped my mouth then and for the first time since I could remember, I actually had trouble trying to stop the hysterics taking over. It wasn't so much the question as it was, the way she asked it - so sneaky, throwing it in to a casual sentence and then not finishing it - and the small innocent expression that lit her face as she tried to act nonchalant.

"No…No… that's just Emmett" I let out between laughs.

"Oh" She simple said and then joined me. I loved to hear her laugh, to watch all the hurt and pain be removed for a short time. There was nothing I wanted more than to keep that hurt away from her for good. After a moment her features fell, but this time they weren't just full of hurt, now they were laced deeply with guilt… why was she guilty? Was it because she felt bad for her question?

"Bella, don't feel bad." I said as I turned and cupped her face in my hands. "I'm not entirely sure that Emmett is sane either." I tried to lighten the conversation but she only shook her head slowly.

"Oh I have no doubt that Emmett's not all there, sorry but its true. Its just, here I am enjoying myself and…" Before she could finish I stopped her. I knew what she was going to say. Here she was enjoying herself while her mother was dead. Her guilt was for her happiness? I had to stop this before it got any worse. However sad I was by her thoughts, I found it hard to fight the smile that belonged to her open comment about my brother.

"Don't. Don't feel bad for feeling a little happiness. Do you think your mum or Phil would want you to be sad over them?" I didn't need her to answer, I saw the slight give in her features and knew she agreed with me. I had always been able to get my way with humans, just the right tone was needed for them to trust you yet, I had never ever been as grateful for that as I was in this minute. I needed her to believe me, to trust me before I could let her in, if I did it too soon she would run from me and I couldn't lose her now. I wouldn't survive it.

I watched a smile spread slowly across her face, it was a pretend one and I knew she was only doing it to placate me. I stoked her cheek gently with my thumb. "The shops just up here." I nodded in the direction and she let out a small sigh as she reach for my hand and pulled it away from her cheek and towards the shop.

We walked around the shop only saying to odd comment about something we had seen, I decided while I was here, there were a few bits I could pick up for me and the rest of my family as well. I was looking at the ten different types of the same kind of pen when her laughter caught my attention. She was standing by the binders, holding one and laughing almost hysterically. Immediately I was intrigued enough to grab any pen and walk towards her to see what had my girl laughing so freely. The second I looked over her shoulder I froze.

"Have you seen this?" she laughed again as she turned to look at me. No, I hadn't seen it before now and I was deeply wishing she hadn't either. Yet, she was laughing so much that I couldn't help but want to know what was so funny.

"No, what's so funny?" I asked as I place a gently smile on my face. I was happy she was happy, even if it was from looking at a cartoon vampire.

"Don't you see it?" She said as she pushed the folder closer to me. I looked deeply at it. It was a black folder with the word 'Monsters' written across the top in dripping red ink - I guess it was meant to look like blood - then underneath was a cartoon character. It was extremely pale, had messy reddish/brow hair and was dressed like every Hollywood interpretation of our kind. Maybe it was the fact that she was laughing at a picture of a vampire with the word monster written on it, but I couldn't seem to find the humor.

"I don't love, what do you see?" I asked as I continued to stare at it.

'Edward, look at its eyes!" she let another chuckle come out while she studied my face. It caught me off guard. Gold eyes. Just like mine. I felt the sudden intake of air when I finally realized what she was thinking. She laughed again. "It looks like you! Even down to the hair!" She spun the folder back to face her as I felt my entire body lock down. She was right. It did look like me. Crap! "I have to get this" she said as she landed it in the basket. "What's wrong?" She spoke again and this time I knew that she had noticed my stillness. I had to move and reassure her.

"Nothing" I said but my voice broke. Well done Cullen! That was reassuring! Her eyes darted from me to the folder and then back to meet mine.

"I'm sorry if I insulted you" she whispered, all the humor gone from her voice. I couldn't have that.

"No. No. Don't be silly. You didn't insult me. Its just… your right. It really does look like me." I smiled at her and she smiled back. Thankfully.

We picked up the last few bits before heading for the counter to pay. Immediately she started sorting out what was hers from the basket, but I wasn't having that. I put my hands on hers to stop her and she looked up at me.

"My treat." I said as I winked at her. I heard her heart race.

"Edward, I … thank you but I cant accept that." She stumbled on her words.

"Yes you can." I said as I caught her cheek in my palm again.

"Edward, you've already done too much"

I cut her off before she could finish. "Nonsense." I smiled down at her but she looked set to argue it further. "Please" I asked again, in that tone I knew worked on all humans. I watched her face as she lost all her stubbornness.

I paid the lady while Bella stayed quiet behind me and when we were finished I took all the bags into one hand and took her hand in my other.

"What are you thinking?" I asked as I bent my head towards hers as we walked. I couldn't help myself. I needed to know. It was just so frustrating not knowing.

"That… well that was really nice of you. Thank you." I smiled down at her but I didn't expect her to continue. "But you know, its not fair." I felt my face flicker to confusion.

"What's not?"

"The way you dazzle people." She stated sharply.

"Dazzle?" Is that what she called the effect I had on most humans.

"Yes. Dazzle. One of these days I will figure out how to withstand it and then mister… then your in trouble." She laughed as she looked around her.

I couldn't help but laugh. Yet, I also couldn't help but worry. She had easily figured out what no one had, she had even named it and she was working on a way around it. I wasn't going to be in trouble then, I was already in trouble! I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a small rumble beginning to build in her stomach.

"Are you hungry?" I asked trying to act as if I didn't already know.

"A little bit." She shrugged.

"Do you like Italian food Bella?" I knew the perfect place to take her. We had gone there many times as a family. Of course not to eat but more of a show. The happy normal family. Huh! If only!

"Yes"

"Good. I know just the place." I smiled down at her and she returned my expression.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX: JEALOUSY**

* * *

**_BELLA POV_**

* * *

"This is… possibly the nicest restaurant I've ever eaten in." And it was. Between the fancy chandlers and the menu that I understood absolutely nothing of, this was definitely out of my league. Then again, so was the beautiful boy that was sitting opposite me, my saving grace in this awful life I now lead.

"Well, get use to it" He winked at me before taking another look down at the menu. What did that mean? Please let it mean that we would be spending more time together.

I laughed and was joined by the weave of music coming from his lips before we were interrupted by the waitress who had been staring curiously at Edward since entering. Her long dark hair was full of curls - not the natural looking ones but the ones that scream curling tongs - they were tied elegantly into a twist at the back of her head while they hung loosely from it. I couldn't help but touch my boring wavy hair that I had just about managed to comb this morning. Her face was also elegant, timeless. She had nothing on Edwards two sisters but for the rest of the population that wasn't a Cullen she definitely was high ranked. Her smile though, that was a little too friendly for my liking. It was bad enough that she made me look like a child next to her womanly figure - that was also a little too on show - but did she have to flirt with Edward right in front of me. Was it really necessary? I'm sure she could have him if she wanted but did she have to rub it in?

"Ready to order… sir?" Did she just say that like…? No. She couldn't of. I was over reading it.

"Bella?" Edwards voice was rougher than usual and I turned my attention from her to see what he wanted. He smirked at me. "Ready to order?"

"Er… yeah sure. Erm…" I looked at the menu. Crap. Fiddle sticks. I don't have a clue what this all is. Why would you write a menu in Italian in a country that doesn't speak it fluently?

"Give us a minute" Edward said as my blush crept all over my face.

"As you wish sir" There is was again. I knew I was glaring at her but I couldn't help it.

"Bella, having trouble?" I kept my eyes on her as I followed her all the way over to the counter and watched as she gossiped with the other girls.

"No…" I said stubbornly. He leant forward and pulled my attention back to him as he twisted the menu in my hands.

"The other side is in English." I felt like such a moron. I managed to drag my eyes to his and give him a small smile but that's when I noticed it. His eyes were on the waitress across the room and he was no longer even paying attention to me. I looked back at her and felt a wave of sadness wash over me. He truly was only looking after me because I was sad. Tomorrow at school he probably wouldn't even talk to me. His annoyed huff pulled me from my thoughts.

"Everything okay?" I asked not really wanting to know. He didn't answer he just nodded. In the dim light I could work out his eyes more narrowed, he looked… angry. Was he? He leant all the way back as if to hide in the shadow.

"Have you decided?" He asked after a moment and I noticed his voice was back to normal.

"Yep." I smiled at him and I noticed how he waved for the waitress with a twist of his fingers.

"What did you want?" He asked me as she made her way over.

"Mushroom ravioli" I shrugged. It was the only thing on the menu that I actually understood what was in it.

"Drink?"

"Coke." He nodded at me as she finally came over to the table. He seemed a little formal and I couldn't understand why. Was he regretting being out with me when he could be getting her number. I suddenly felt my stomach turn, I knew it was jealousy and I couldn't believe that I was being like this. I didn't even really know this boy and yet I wanted to stab the girl with my bread knife for just looking at him. Great. I really had lost my mind.

"Decided your pick sir?" I didn't miss the double meaning in her words. It took me all I could do not to say something so instead I settled for a glare.

"Yes" He gestured at me, only then noticing my glare at the waitress and cocked his eyebrow curiously at me. "She will have the mushroom ravioli with a coke."

"And what can I do for you?" Do? Wow this girl was straight forward. Edwards forehead creased a little and he looked as if he was debating something. "Get. I mean get for you?" She laughed and tried to play innocent.

"Nothing. For me." He stated the nothing as if it was a separate word, almost a warning. She leant right into him as she nearly pushed her exposed cleavage into his face as she picked up his menu, she didn't even turn to me just held out her hand while staring seductively at him. I smacked it down on top and stood up. I was angry and I knew if I stayed about I would make a scene. I couldn't watch this. He wouldn't deny her, no guy would and I didn't want to see any of this. "Where are you going?" He sounded confused as he took in my expression, which I'm sure looked as hurt and angry as I was. My mother had always told me that I wear my feelings on my face but it was something I couldn't help.

"Bathroom." I replied as I turned and walked away.

"Bella?" His voice sounded panicked. I had to turn and see why, it made no sense. When my eyes met his, he looked almost pleading, as if looking for some kind of reassurance that I was okay.

"I'll just be a minute." I couldn't watch. The waitress hadn't even attempted to move, she was watching me leave with a huge winning grin on her face.

"Now that she's gone…" I felt what was left of my heart break as I heard her words before entering the small bathrooms that were situated near our seats. I felt the lonely tear spill down my cheek as I locked the cubicle door and sat down on the closed lidded toilet.

It had only been a day, a shopping day, the kind of day that I hated the most and yet, somehow it had been perfect right up until this stupid restaurant with that flirtatious waitress. I finally stood and unlocked the door, moving towards the mirrored area. I looked like a plain Jane with red eyes from where I had been crying like a five year old who's favorite toy had just been taken away. Well crap. I turned on the hot tap and placed my face near the steam hoping it would help my eyes return to normal faster, it did help but just a little. I heard three small taps on the main bathroom door.

"Yes" I asked cautiously.

"Bella are you okay?" My angels voice filled my ears and I suppose that meant that numbers and arrangements had been made. It was safe to return. I didn't miss the worry in his words, why was he worried about me? Did he realize that I had thought more of the situation between us? Did he feel bad? There wasn't a part of me that didn't believe that Edward was a good man, that if he hurt me that he would feel bad about it.

"Yep, just washing my hands." I tried to sound casual but was nowhere close. I took deep calming breaths and eventually opened the door and headed for our table. The second I walked out I felt eyes burning into me, I looked up and found him following my every movement. Looking in his eyes I felt terrible. I couldn't expect him to want me and yet here I was throwing a little hidden fit because he didn't. I tried to smile at him but I wasn't sure if it would be classed as a smile or as the kind of smile Charlie had now gotten use to from me.

"Are you okay?" He asked taking in the fake smile. I took a deep breath and nodded. Talking right now was not an option especially if I wanted to end this night without being mortified at my own behavior. I noticed his eyes flicked back towards the waitress station and a small laugh escape his lips as he sighed. That was it. I had reached my quota of pain for the day. Shaking my head I stood and went to put my jacket on. I saw Edwards frantic eyes searching me before finally leaning towards me and placing a surrendering hand out to me. "Don't go" Worry and sadness laced his every word and was written clearly on his face. "Please."

I sighed and sat back down, dropping my jacket in the spare seat next to us. I couldn't look at him, so I just stayed silent begging my eyes not to let another traitorous tear escape.

"What are you thinking?" I could hear his frustration.

"It doesn't matter" I said softly. It seemed easier to control the emotion in my voice if I spoke softly.

"Yes it does" I felt his cold fingers graze my cheek. I looked up into the burning molten lava and managed to get lost in them. Dazzled.

"Here's your order, enjoy your meal and sorry about everything." She didn't sound sorry at all but she did sound different. I looked up to see a different girl serving us and the look she gave me back wasn't friendly at all. She turned abruptly and walked away. I stared after her in confusion and then turned when I heard the small sigh from Edwards direction. I raised my eyebrow at him, curiosity taking over.

"I didn't like the last waitress" he shrugged. I felt my features twist to one of humored disbelieving. He took a deep breath and continued. "After you left she tried… well I'm guessing it was why you left" He stopped waiting for me to confirm it. I didn't want to but I also didn't need to, he knew it. He shook his head. "I merely put her in her place and asked for a new waitress." He said exasperated. I knew he didn't want this conversation but I wanted to know what happened.

"You mean… you didn't get her number?"

"Of course not." He said immediately. "I'm here with you."

Well, I felt like an idiot. "I thought…" But he cut me off before I could tell him.

"I know." He began but then his voice softened. "Please don't." He leaned in closer then and took my face between his palms, he took a deep breath before continuing. "It's all about you. Only you."


	7. Chapter 7

_**CHAPTER SEVEN : LIMITS**_

**_EPOV_**

* * *

I don't think I've ever appreciated Alice more than I have today. I hadn't realized how the waitresses open attempts to get my number would upset my Bella, if Alice hadn't of called, I wasn't sure I would have realized in time. When she had first excused herself from the table, I had assumed she had gone to give me more privacy with the waitress. It had hurt me immensely at the time to think that she would so easily hand me away after everything that we had been through in this very short period of time.

When the waitress had asked me if I had 'decided my pick' I hadn't needed to read her mind to understand what she was really asking. I felt my anger rise and I couldn't help but gesture over to my Bella. Yet, she hadn't even understood that simply hint and continued to play the double meaning word game. Even when I over exaggerated the word 'Nothing' she still didn't seem phased by it. I had felt sorry for her until I had read her thoughts and realized she was planning on openly giving me her number and snubbing Bella in a few moments. I couldn't have that. I was debating how to ask for a new waitress without embarrassing Bella or having to explain to her why I wanted a different one, when Bella had stood up. I panicked. Suddenly every fear from the last few months came screeching into my mind. Her not liking me, let alone loving me. Her running away screaming when she realized what I was. Her hating me. Me alone… again. I new I was being far too open with her in that moment but the thought of losing her after only knowing her for such a short time was more heartbreaking than I could stand. I searched her eyes for clues and she must have noticed my panic, her expression softened and she explained she would be back.

I felt my own fears begin to lessen until that same silly waitress purposely spoke loudly so that Bella would hear. It must have been a female thing or maybe I just really relied on my gift too much to help me understand people because I didn't see how hurt Bella was until I read the snide comments in the waitresses mind and of course, the loud shouting from the other end of the receiver from Alice was hard to miss. She explained her vision while calling me every name she could think possible before I had finally hung up on her and told the waitress it was never going to happen and to leave. I had been far too forward with her and instantly felt guilty but the guilt quickly vanished when I smelt the fresh scent of tears and heard a heart beat quicken with each shaky breath. My Bella was crying. I instantly walked over to the door, wanting to go in but knowing I couldn't. I settled for what I could do and knocked on the door instead. I could hear her moving and running water but I wasn't sure what she was doing exactly. After hearing her broken rough voice, my heart felt like it had died all over again. I wouldn't allow this beautiful girl to cry over me, she deserved more. I would be open with her if she asked what happened, I wanted her trust even if I didn't deserve it.

When she had finally come back out I watched her carefully, I didn't know what to say or do but I knew I couldn't ignore the situation. That's when my thoughts had been interrupted.

"That's the girl? Are you serious?" A high pitched laugh followed from the southern accent behind the front desk. She was talking to the waitress I had just dismissed.

"Yep. She's soooo fugly, how the hell is he with her? I bet its like a bet, with his friends." That silly waitress laughed.

"I bet she's easy. Look at her, no one would sleep with her for any other reason." Another voice with a deep New York accent chimed in.

"Oh great, now I have to go and look her straight in the face and say sorry for you. Thanks." Another voice joined in and I couldn't help but wonder if any of them were actually going to work at some point or just spend the evening gossiping. I noticed that same one looking Bella up and down "You could take her. Slap her about a bit, guys always like the rough hot chick"

That was it. A small laugh escaped my lips but not one of happiness, this was the laugh that belonged purely to my inner monster. As I went to stand, not really sure what I would say to those silly immature girls, I noticed Bella's expression. She was glaring at me, shaking her head. It was then that it hit me. I had been so consumed with their silly conversation that I had been ignoring Bella, to someone who didn't know I could hear across the restaurant it more than likely looked like I was checking that same one out. Oh great. I really wasn't very good at this.

I watched like a frozen moron as she bent over to pick up her jacket and started maneuvering to put it on. I didn't know what to do or say, the only thing I knew was that I didn't want her to go so I reached for her, hoping to stop her somehow but not truly knowing how.

"Don't go. Please."

She sighed and sat back down, dropping her jacket in the spare seat next to us. She didn't look at me.

"What are you thinking?" I finally said, my words laced with frustration.

"It doesn't matter" She said softly.

She was definitely wrong about that. "Yes it does" I let my cold fingers graze her cheek. I finally caught her eye and she seemed to get instantly lost in our stare.

"Here's your order, enjoy your meal and sorry about everything." She didn't sound sorry at all and it took me all I could do not to shout at her about her behaviour. It wasn't until Bella looked up to her, that I followed her line of stare. She was glaring at Bella before she finally walked away. 'Silly ugly cow, maybe I should beat her, show him what a real girl is capable of. He's so… just perfect. I wouldn't let him leave the bed for hours, hell for weeks.' She turned abruptly and walked away. I stared after her in disgust. Was every female mind that disturbed? No. I knew for a fact that it wasn't like that. I noticed I had Bella's attention again and couldn't help but search her face again for some clue as to what she was thinking. She raised her eyebrows at me and I knew she was curious. I had promised myself to be honest with her and I would keep that promise.

"I didn't like the last waitress" I shrugged off nonchalantly. "After you left she tried… well I'm guessing it was why you left" I stopped waiting for her to confirm it, not that I needed her too. It was a memory that would be burned into my mind for the rest of eternity. "I merely put her in her place and asked for a new waitress."

"You mean… you didn't get her number?" How could she think I would. That girl held nothing compared to the angel in front of me.

"Of course not." I said immediately. "I'm here with you."

"I thought…" But I cut her off.

"I know. Please don't." I leaned in closer then and took her face between my palms, I took a deep breath letting her scent assault and comfort me. "It's all about you. Only you."

She had that same look on her face again, that dazzled one and it took me all I could do not to lean in and kiss her. I suddenly had this urge that I didn't want to ignore any longer but I had no choice but too. I pulled back slowly.

"Eat"

She looked a little disappointed but it was no where close to how I was feeling. I kept replaying the moment over and over in my head and kicking myself for not just kissing her. Truth was, I was worried. I wasn't sure if I did have enough control to kiss her and keep her safe but her lips looked so… stop Edward. This isn't right. You might hurt her. I shouted over and over in my head.

She seemed to eat quickly and I couldn't help but be thankful that I didn't have to think about what to say to her in that moment. I wasn't sure I could form words.

"Edward, are you going to school tomorrow?" She asked out of the blue. It was a strange questions.

"Why wouldn't I be?" oh how I wished to be able to read her mind. Damn.

"Just checking." She seemed to lighten up a little bit again and smile at me. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Alice. Only Alice would text me.

'She's worried you will ignore her tomorrow. She's planning how to handle it.'

I squinted my eyes at the message. Not out of trouble reading it but out of not understanding this girls mind. Why would she think I would ignore her tomorrow? I sighed and noticed her cock her eyebrow again.

"Alice wants to know if your going in tomorrow?" It was a risk to say giving her previous question but I wanted to make sure she understood that I wasn't leaving her side tomorrow.

"Erm yeah… I am… Why?"

"I think she's planning on stealing you and giving you a tour around the school." I smiled at her, as she nodded. I noticed the slight disappointment in her eyes that she was trying to cover with a smile. I couldn't help but be happy that she would rather be with me than anyone else. I let out another sigh. "I'm just going to have to steal you first, I guess. Hmm…" Her eyes grew with my words and all traces of disappointment was gone.

"I guess" She laughed slightly.

"How to beat Alice?" I mused aloud. "How about I pick you up in the morning?"

"You would want to do that?" the disbelief painted thickly on every word.

I'd prefer to stay the night and take you in the morning. No. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't say that. Could I? I just shrugged and smiled at her, not knowing how far to push the limits. I had stayed with her last night but that was under different circumstances. I felt the sudden wash of sadness hit me when I realized that I would probably not be able to hold her in my arms tonight while she slept. I needed to hunt and it freed up some perfect time for me to do it unsuspectingly but still, I hadn't realized till this moment that I couldn't hold her again.

"Are you okay? You look a little…" She trailed off.

"Just disappointed." Be honest with her Cullen. Its only fair. You did promise you would be.

"Can I ask why?"

"Bella, you can ask me anything you want. As for why, well I just realized I don't get to hold you tonight." I heard her heart take off, her breathing became shallower and her beautiful deep eyes managed to get even wider. Her shallow breaths seemed to stop all of a sudden as she continued to just stare at me, her own face twisting into one of disappointment. "Breath Bella." I smiled at her and before I knew it, she had taken my advice and was trying to calm herself.

"Well… that's… that's just… honesty." She breathed the words out as if they were so unbelievable to her.

"I don't want to lie to you." I stated simply. Of course there would be times when I may have to work around the truth but as much as I could, I would be as honest as possible. She didn't say anything else, just took the final sip of her coke as I called the waitress over. Unwillingly.

"Ready to go home?" I asked, not really wanting to spend anymore time in this place than I had to.

"Ready to leave." Was she playing with the words as well? I couldn't help but smile at her innocent and obvious attempt.

"Here's the bill…" The waitress looked uncomfortable as she handed it to me and I wondered why she didn't just drop it on the table, then I heard her. 'Please don't say it too loud, Sophie will kill me if she knows I've gone after you as well.' I didn't need to even look to know her number was written on a separate piece of paper. I sighed heavily and blatantly at it when I saw it there and turned to glare at her.

I could see Bella looking at the two of us, trying to figure out what my problem was. I had no choice but explain now, she would only ask later. I took the extra piece out and handed it back to her. I tried to keep my voice steady and calm but I wasn't sure if I could.

"I'm here with my girlfriend. Do you really think its acceptable to hand me your number?" I copied that same tone that Carlisle often used with Emmett when he would prank someone, it was a tone that made you instantly aware of how disappointed someone was in your behavior. I heard Bella gasp as she started putting on her jacket.

"No, sorry … I guess… I mean… I didn't… realize that she was… your girlfriend." The silly girl stumbled across words, trying to make them make sense. I just shook my head as I place a $20 bill in the folder, that would cover her food and still give them a tip, which I was very tempted not to. When I handed it back to her I didn't even look at her, just stood and started putting my jacket on as I walked to take Bella's hand.

Her hand seemed stiff, I looked down to see she was frozen, as if in shock. Was it because I had open had a go at that waitress. I had to almost pull her along as we walked out the restaurant, not even bothering to say bye or thank you. She was staring at me and as we reached the car I started to get worried.

"Are you okay Bella?" She continued to stare.

"Girlfriend?" Her voice was so low. Oh! That had slipped out in the moment, of course she didn't think of me as her boyfriend, that would be insane. I wasn't sure what to say to fix this.

"I… er… I thought… it just…"

"Is that what this is?" She gestured between us. She seemed to of unfrozen as soon as I started mumbling incoherently but her voice still seemed very stressed.

"It could be" I whispered. I knew it was far too soon but the idea of calling her my girlfriend wasn't even strong enough for how I felt about her. Be honest but not too honest. Don't scare her.

"You would want that… with me?" Her voice was just as quiet as mine had been. I answered too quickly, understanding that she was panicking thinking I wouldn't want her.

"You have no idea." Even though I was still speaking quietly, I couldn't help but feel relieved as I was finally able to admit these things but I knew it was too quick. I couldn't ask for that without letting her know what I was. She stayed quiet, her confusion clear on her face. "It's too soon, sorry. I guess it just feels like I've known you longer." Good work Cullen. Confuse her and make her run! I shook my head, angry at myself. What was I doing to this poor girl?

I opened the door for her and helped her in while she kept staring at me, lost in thought. As I slid in and started the ignition she mumbled.

"I know what you mean." I looked at her, surprised. She shocked me then by laughing out loud. I knew I was looking at her like a crazy person but in all honesty, I was worried in that moment. "Do you know, I had a dream about you?" She shook her head as if she thought she was crazy.

"You did? Last night?" I couldn't help the happiness that instantly washed over me.

"Nope. For months, every night you made an appearance. It was strange, I couldn't see your face, it was blurry but I know it was you. You were always in the shadows in my dreams, hiding from the sun." She laughed again. "Stupid huh?!"

"You knew it was me?"

"Yeah, I get this feeling around you, its strange but I felt it in my dreams as well. Its like… I don't know, being electrocuted every time we touch… but in a good way." She shrugged.

I couldn't speak. I just smiled at her. Did she really feel that as well?

"You think I'm insane now, right?" Was she? I was a vampire who could read minds? Did I have the right to judge what could or couldn't be real?

"No. But I am intrigued, tell me more about these dreams?" I wanted to know more, I wanted to understand if it was possible. So far, hiding from the sun was spot on.

"Well, they were always so strange, you were always in the dark and I was in the sunlight. You would call me, urge me towards you but you wouldn't move until I stepped into the shadows with you." She laughed again. "Oh God I am nuts."

I was positive I felt my non-beating heart stop. That was exactly what I was doing. I was calling her into my world of darkness. I was pulled from my retrieve when she laughed again.

"There was this one dream where you… this is going to sound lame but… you tried to bite me. How stupid is that?" She clasped her hand over her mouth and looked out the window. I was glad when she did that, I was worried she would see my scared expression. It was too close to be a coincidence. What was she? Could she see the future? Pre-cog? Sense it? I needed to speak to Carlisle, maybe he would have some idea.

Another thought came to mind. Alice. Could Alice see the future in her dreams before she was changed? If only she could remember!

I started laughing with her, the last thing I wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable. "Dreams are crazy things." We stayed quiet and I noticed how still she had become still, as if she was regretting telling me. I moved my hand to take the one that rested on her lap and she instantly seemed aware of me and intertwined our fingers. "If I could, I would dream of you" I whispered. It was as close to the truth as I could give her in this moment. She squeezed my hand back and seemed to instantly relax.

It was a quiet ride home and one that I drove slower than usual, not wanting to lose her just yet tonight. I knew I needed to hunt but it didn't mean that I had to like it. Charlie's cruiser was in the drive way and I knew he must have been worried about her.

"I'll pick you up about 8:15 tomorrow?" I asked her as I turned the car off. Her grin grew and she tightened her grip on my hand.

"Sure."

We just sat there staring at each other until a knock came to the car window. I opened it when I saw Charlie standing on the other side.

"Chief Swan" I greeted him as politely as I could, forgetting I was holding his daughters hand in plain sight.

"Edward." He nodded towards our hands and both Bella and I swiftly pulled them apart. "Good day?" He inquired.

"Got everything we needed to get." Bella answered for me as she turned and opened her door.

"Want me to take the bags in Bella?" I asked, I felt terrible that she had to open her door, I should have done that for her.

"Nope. Cha… Dad can help me. Right dad?" He nodded at her as she opened the boot before returning his look to me inside the car. He was trying to figure me out, and I couldn't blame him for that. He was worried about his daughter getting even more broken than she already was.

'Please… wont… her… take… more… don't…cry… hurt' I really wished his thoughts made more sense.

"Night Edward, thanks again for everything." She leaned down and gave me a swift kiss on my cheek before handing the bags to Charlie. I was almost frozen. The feeing of her warm lips on my cold skin was incredible.

"Good night Bella. Chief." I said as I turned back on the engine. Charlie walked towards the house then, only turning once. A look of pure worry tainted all of his features.

***

I returned home about five hours later, I decided not to put hunting off any longer. The hunt was the same as always, I stayed near forks, not wanting to be too far away from that perfect girl.

"Finally! How was it?" Alice was bouncing down the steps at me.

I just smiled at her as I walked passed her into the living room.

"Edward details!" She wined, causing everyone's attention to turn to us.

"You already know Alice" I moaned back in her whiny tone.

After a loud huff, she stormed over to Jasper, causing him to start begging for her.

"Fine. Crazy people." I walked over and sat next to Esme on the large white sofa. "Well, we went shopping and then went to eat." I skipped all the details, not wanting to share everything about my time with her with my family. I wanted to keep her to myself for as long as possible.

"Where you made her cry, nice work Edward" Rosalie shot at me. I looked at Alice who shrugged.

"She was with me when I got my vision."

"Oh Edward, what did you do to her?" Esme scolded. I explained what had happened and thankfully everyone seemed to understand. I didn't like making excuses for my behavior but this was all new to me. It was hard enough that I was blaming myself without dragging everyone else into it as well.

I couldn't wait till morning to see my girl again so instead I ran as quickly as I could to her house and climbed up the tall willow tree that was swinging in the wind outside her house. From here I had a perfect view of her room. She was tossing and turning, talking in her sleep. I wanted to go in but before I could I heard Charlie open her door. He peered in as the first of many tears escaped her sleeping eyes. My heart broke for her. I could read his agony, even in his jumbled thoughts but he was just as new to this as I was. After a few deep breaths he turned and shut her door, making his way back to his own bed. I could just about make out some of his thoughts.

'Edward hurts her… wont live… broken… could he… right for her?' His thoughts continued and got me thinking about her in this situation. Could I really sentence this girl to this life for me? Was that fair? No it wasn't, it was wrong. I was only going to hurt her more. This was so wrong.

"Don't leave, please" She continued to cry out in her dreams. I could only imagine the dream she was having to cause those words. Her mother. "Please, stay. I promise I wont tell anyone." Tell anyone? What could she possibly be hiding for her mother? "I belong in your world." She continued.

I was passed confused. What was she dreaming? Maybe Charlie was right? Was she really that broken? I caught my breath as I remembered her earlier words. She dreams of me… the future. Tell anyone? Could that be our secret? My world? I was frozen, hoping her next mumbles would clear it up and make me realize I was being ridiculous.

"I don't care. I'm coming with you." She sounded angry. There was a pause as her tears seemed to double. "You… don't want … me?" She sounded so broken that before I realized what I was doing, I had jumped over to her window seal and slid the window open enough to climb through. I was kneeling by her bed, trying to talk myself out of touching her when she spoke again. "Please" She whispered, her voice breaking.

"Edward, don't… don't do this?" She was dreaming of me and apparently I was hurting her… I was leaving her. Would I? Could I? Did I truly have the strength to leave this girl to a normal happy human life? She breathed in deeper "I don't care about my soul. Take it." She was definitely angry and she had figured out my only reason as to why I would force myself to leave her. "I don't want it without you." She was shouting through gritted teeth, was this our future? Would I leave her, even after all her cries or would my resolve break when she started begging me to stay? God, I hoped it would. The thought of leaving her was more than agonizing, I wasn't sure I could survive it, that I would want too.

"I'm not good enough for you, you mean." I wanted to kick myself for that comment, whatever I had said to her had her thinking she wasn't good enough for me, how could she believe that. "Well… that changes things." The tears had stopped, her expression changed, it was no longer hurt… she looked empty.

I had done that to her. Please don't be a psychic, please please please!!! I begged in my head. The thought of doing that to her… it would be the worst thing I had ever done. Her breathing came easier after that and her expression softened but mine only grew more worried over time. Would I leave her? How could she just accept it. No. I wouldn't hurt her. I would keep her safe and happy as long as she wanted me around.

The first rays of light burned through the open window and it was only then I noticed the time. I leaped from her window after taking on long last look at my beautiful girl. Today was going to be interesting…


	8. Chapter 8

**_CHAPTER EIGHT : FIRST DAY_**

* * *

**_BPOV_**

* * *

I woke with a startle, I could have sworn that I heard my window shut. As I jumped up in the bed and tried to focus my blurry eyes, I felt the pounding come full surface. It felt like my brain was going to explode. Pump. Pump. Pump. Ergh! Wiping my eyes, I noticed the strange almost gluey texture, what was wrong with me this morning? I climbed from my bed, reaching for my phone - as my alarm clock still wasn't plugged in - when I saw the state I was in; my surrounding skin around my eyes was puffy and red. Great! I looked like I had been crying for hours. Had I? I tried to refocus on my dreams, trying to put some order to what I remembered. They were definitely about Edward but why was I sad? After a short time it hurt too much to concentrate on that small task so I decided to give up for now.

It was only six thirty and yet I was wide awake and in pain. Wow, my life is great. Okay, so I was feeling a little bit extra sorry for myself today, in all honesty I felt like complete crap. I stumbled towards the bathroom and turned on the hot water before stepping under the spray. At least I had time to attempt to make myself look normal. I wonder if Edward really would pick me up? I wonder if he would still talk to me?

Memories of the night before came flooding back. He had called me his girlfriend and when I questioned him on it, he seemed shocked that I wouldn't have already expected he wanted more. Was I that far gone that I was missing obvious signs? I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth then.

"Bella, are you okay?" I heard through the door. Charlie.

"Yep fine. I'll be done in a sec." I knew he needed to shower before work and given this early hour I was probably interfering with his normal daily routine.

It wasn't even seven thirty before I was completely dressed and sitting downstairs staring at the fridge contemplating eating something. My stomach was doing back flips at the thought of what I had to endure today. As the new girl I was going to be watched like a hawk, but the difference now, I was the sad, broken new girl which meant not only was I going to be watched but I would be met with sympathetic glances and smiles. I really hated those.

"Good luck today" Charlie called as he shut the front door. I had always thought that Charlie had been too emotionally distant when I had been growing up but now it was my favorite thing about him. He didn't give me those glances, he just let me deal in peace.

Pop tarts seemed like a good way to go for breakfast, at least that was until I burnt my tongue from trying to eat them too fast. I ended up like a dog with my tongue stuck under the cold running water when I heard the doorbell ring. My eyes flashed to the clock above the small fridge when I realized Edward was exactly on time.

Taking one last peek at the wreckage that was my outer shell, I ran too the door. A little too excited to see him again. I really had missed him all morning, the strangeness alone in that hadn't gone unnoticed by my internal chatter.

"Good morning" His soft musical voice caressed my ears and I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around him. Could I hug him? What were we? Oh crap. I felt myself stiffen as I realized I was completely clueless as to how to react to him and what was acceptable. "Are you okay?" he asked, obviously seeing my hesitation. I didn't respond. God I was such a moron. "Is someone… dazzled?" he asked mockingly.

Yes. Completely. Forever. I decided none of those were acceptable so I just laughed it off as I unwilling turned to grab my bag off the floor besides the door.

"Shall we?" He nodded a yes back at me as he led me towards his car. I saw his hand twitch a few times as if he was debating taking my hand. How I wished he would but he didn't.

The drive to school was quiet for two reasons. Firstly, I was nervous about what the day had in store for me and secondly, I didn't know what to say to Edward. I had only been in town for one weekend and it already felt like months. Time with him seemed to fly and yet, somehow it seemed never ending.

Pulling into the school parking lot, I couldn't help but let my eyes wonder around the groups of teenagers, chattering among themselves. Please don't be talking about me. I shouted in my head, knowing I was probably the main topic of conversation. I met a few glances and just as I had expected… the sympathy smile.

"Are you nervous?" His voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"No, not nervous… more… Terrified." I tried to laugh but it came out like a sigh.

"I'm right here." As he spoke he reached over and took my hand in his, rubbing some circles that I found oddly relaxing. I smiled at him, so far he hadn't run or ignored me… hopefully he wouldn't. He pulled away then and I instantly felt as if I had been rejected. It was so ridiculous. "Lets get this over with." As he spoke he stepped out of the car but before I had managed to pull myself together, he was already at my door opening it for me. I took his hand as I stepped out, thankful that there was less chance of me falling on my face now. That would be all I would need to make this day… fantastic. The second I stepped out of his car I heard the talking begin. I could hear the whispers of those closest to us and I didn't like what I heard.

"What is the new girl doing with the Cullen's? Cullen's a freak!"

I watched as Edward's face fell, he obviously had heard that comment too. How could anyone think that of this perfect man in front of me. My heart was suddenly breaking. Here I was worried that I wouldn't fit in, that Edward would run from me when I didn't and it seemed that his family were the outcasts. I couldn't understand why. They were beyond beautiful, intelligent, kind, rich… in my old school they would have been the popular kids… but here, was it those very reasons people called them 'freaks'?

Edward looked around and as he did, he almost looked terrified. He took a deep breath before stepping back from me. I watched him curiously. "I don't think being seen with me is doing you any favors." His tone was so low and full of hurt that I instantly just wanted to sooth him. After everything he had already done for me did he truly believe a few high school losers would push me away from him. "You should go" he motioned towards the office building but I stood my ground.

"Not likely Edward." I raised my eyebrow at him daring him to object. "You said you would stick by me so come on" I took his hand before he had time to react. I couldn't help but smile when I realized that somehow I had managed to shock him. I felt his grip on my fingers tighten as he smiled down at me, I felt the instant relief wash over me when I knew he wasn't going to fight me on this.

As we walked, I ignored everyone else and their childish comments. I noticed Edward did the same. There were only one set of eyes I wanted to see and those belonged to Edward. Our trip to the school office had started out a nightmare when I realized I didn't have any classes with Edward or Alice. The thought of not seeing either of them was becoming insanely hard to handle.

"Let me try something. Sit here and I'll be right back." Edward had winked at me as he headed back over to talk to the head of the reception. I wasn't certain but I think her name was Ms. Cope, while she had been introducing herself, I had been distracted by Edward who was mindlessly playing with a strand of my hair. About ten minutes later Edward had returned to me with a grin on his face.

"What happened?" I enquired.

"Well lets just say that I can be very persuasive when I want to be." He let out a small laugh as he handed me my new schedule. "The ones with the blue stars are the classes we have together and the ones with the pink stars are with Alice. I know its not every class but it was the best I could do… I might be able to sort out something else as well if you give me some time."

"This is…" I didn't know what to say. It was amazing, it was more than amazing. I had truly been panicked and now I had most of my lessons with him, a few with Alice and only two without either of them. "Thank you" I said as I continued to study the paper. I felt the sharp pang from my bottom lip from where I had bitten too hard in deep concentration and embarrassment.

"We better go, we're already ten minutes late." He took my hand and we walked quickly down the hall to biology. I took one long deep breath as we entered the classroom, all eyes turned to stare at me, then at Edward and then finally landing on our joined hands. "Sorry we're late, I have passes. This is Isabella Swan." He introduced me to our teacher as he handing him our tardy slips and my registration paper.

"Everyone this is Isabella" how shameful. Everyone just stared. Great. "I'm Mr Banner." He said as he handed me back my form and directed me towards the two final empty seats.

"Only seat left is next to mine" Edward whispered in my ear as we walked down the aisle towards them. Finally, a bit of luck.

The rest of the morning passed the same. It would seem that most empty spaces were next to Edward and although we didn't get to speak much, he never let go of my hand under the table.

Lunch. The hour of the day where I was going to be thrown into the lion's den. The entire student body, one room… a lot of sympathetic smiles and comments. Oh, this was going to be super fun. Even I had to laugh at my own inner rambles that were so heavily laced with sarcasm I was positive my facial expression was set in that exact emotion as I thought it. I really wasn't looking forward to it.

"The others are waiting at my locker for us. We can drop everything off there and head in."

"I don't know what I would have done without you today" I hadn't realized I had spoken that comment aloud until he turned to face me, stopping us in our movements.

"You would have been fine." His eyes burned into mine and I didn't want to argue with him and yet I couldn't seem to help the need to.

"Don't be too sure. I would have crumbled by now and hidden in the toilets or something." I shrugged knowing it was true. His free hand was suddenly cupping my cheek and his thumb stroking just below my eye.

"Your too stubborn to do something like that" He winked down at me but I could see there was an inner battle that he didn't want me aware of, which naturally meant that I had to ask him about it.

"What are you thinking? You looked stressed."

He just shook a quick no before leaning his head down and resting his forehead on mine. It was only a simply gesture but I could tell there was great effort gone into it but I just couldn't figure out what or why?

"Edward…" I began but stopped when I realized that it would be rude to ask him about the comments the others made about him and his family.

"Yes" He urged me to continue. I momentarily tried to think of something else to ask that would seem realistic but failed when he had caught me out.

"How long have you been here?"

"I already told you that answer" his eyes burned into mine. "That wasn't what you were going to ask. You can ask me anything." I sighed deeply as I took in his honest words.

"You and your family, you don't fit in here?"

"No" He shrugged it off like it meant nothing.

"I was just wondering how come? I mean… sorry that's not my place to ask that." He surprised me then by laughing at me.

"Bella. Bella. Bella." He was now cupping both my cheeks between his hands and his lips were only bare centimeters from mine. "I don't know why… I think because we were new here and people seem to be put off by the fact we are adopted."

I nodded at him, wanting this conversation to be over as soon as I had started it. "We should go, I don't want them to be annoyed at me." He looked at me with scrunched eyebrows, obviously confused. "If they are hungry, I don't want to keep them waiting." I watched a small uncontrolled giggle left his lips which he immediately tried to cover up as a cough. I raised my eyebrow at him, he knew I had caught him out and so he just shrugged. There was seriously nothing worse than private jokes.

We turned the corner and there in front of me stood the rest of his family, staring at us, studying our every move. One by one they looked at our joined hands and froze. The only one who dared move was Alice and that was only because she seemed to be over excited about something, I wasn't positive but I had a feeling she got over excited by pretty much anything.

"Bella!" She called as she ran towards me. A little faster than I had assumed someone of her height and build could move. Her legs were tiny and yet there was no way I could keep up with her.

"Alice!" The tall blonde girl from behind scolded her and Alice instantly seemed to slow down. Hmmm. How strange. She walked up to me and kissed my cheek and took my other hand without warning.

"You remember the others?" She pointed to them as they all stared at me. At least they weren't giving me the sympathy stare, for that I was grateful. I would happily take the annoyed or curious ones instead. I nodded, yes I remembered them but I had no clue what there names were.

Edward seemed to pick up on my quietness as he bent down to whisper in my ear.

"Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper" His motion started with the tall blonde girl with the angry scowl.

"Thanks" I whispered back and gave him a small embarrassed smile. He returned my smile with a wink. Wow, was he trying to make me faint.

"You hungry little sis?" The big one - Emmett - called out. Why did he call me that?

"Not really big bro!" I shot back. He laughed and seemed happy that I played his name game. Big bro? I could see the obvious and yet couldn't seem to be able to figure it out. Little sis? Big bro? Well Emmett was Edwards big brother… Ooh! If I were to marry Edward, I would technically be his little sis. But wait… Emmett had called me that before I even knew Edwards name, before I even knew what he was like. How did he know we would be friends or whatever we were? I knew I had narrowed my eyes at him while being lost in thought but I couldn't seem to figure out how he knew? I was obvious, Renee had always said you could read my face like an open book but seriously, I had barely spoken a word before he had called me that.

"Hey Edward." I was pulled from my thoughts as another brunette girl purred at him, the tone she used reminded me of the waitress.

"Jessica" He responded politely. But still… We didn't look alike, at least not facially but her hair color and length wasn't much off mine, neither was her build or eye color.

"Your Isabella right?" She stepped closer to me as if to size me up. Her glance flashed to Edward and I noticed how stiff his jaw had become.

"Bella" I corrected. She glared at me.

"Whatever. Your from Arizona right?" I could tell she wasn't really interested but was trying to make a point.

"Yeah" I said curtly.

"Aren't people from Arizona meant to be tanned?" So that was the game. She was trying to belittle me in front of Edward but why? Did she like him? Had they been together? Is that how Emmett knew? Did Edward have a type that I fitted into?

"I guess that's why they kicked me out" I shot back. Edward laughed, followed by his family and a boy that had been walking with Jessica.

"Funny." He called as he came over. "I'm Mike"

"Hey." I knew his type too well, generic pretty boys who had girls falling at their feet. It was amusing to place him next to Edward. He looked so plain and simple where as Edward looked like he was gracefully standing on the red carpet of some luxury Hollywood event.

"If you need anything let me know." Edward stiffened again and I noticed how Jessica's glare turned from me to him as she dragged him away.

"Bye Bella" She shouted over her shoulder.

"Well that was… hmm…" I muttered unaware that everyone's eyes had reverted back to me now that Jessica was gone.

"You should eat" He spoke as he dragged me towards the canteen. The tension in his voice couldn't be missed and so I decided to just stay quiet and wait for him to be in a better mood before I asked anything to do with his previous relationship with her.

We made our way to an empty table which Alice had informed me was the Cullen's table and that nobody sat with them. She had done a cheery 'Welcome' that had me almost bolting for the door. Where did she get so much energy from. Of course all eyes were on me as we made our way to that table and as I sat down I could hear the constant flow of rumors and murmurs about why I was sitting with them. I was thankful for the first time today that Edward wasn't with me. I could only imagine what those rumors would be then. He had told me to go sit and he would bring my lunch over, of course I tried to stop him but he dazzled me and before I knew it, I was agreeing.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips when Edward returned tray in hand, it wasn't a happy laugh but a shocked one. The plate was full… one of everything. I took note of how he only had one tray and suddenly found comfort in that fact. Maybe Edward ate a lot? All golden eyes watched me after my little outburst but it was the confused look from my angel that made me need to explain.

"I thought you got me all of this." I gestured to the tray.

"I did." He seemed very confused by my statement.

"Half's for you… right?" I was suddenly worried, memories of his non eating habits from the night before were screaming at me.

"I'm not really hungry but I didn't know what you liked." He shrugged it off as he took his seat next to me.

I picked at it, half waiting for Edward to pick at it as well but he never did. I found myself wondering if he ever ate. It didn't escape my attention that the others had purchased food but hadn't taken a single bite the entire time we sat there, they would occasionally ask me questions which would some how lead on to long discussion… but never once did they even take a sip of their drinks.

I was done picking quickly. Being around them didn't help my self esteem and then being the only one stuffing my face just played into a whole other set of problems.

"Are you finished?" Edward asked as I dropped my hands to my lap. I nodded and he studied the tray for a little bit before scowling at it. His eyes shot up to Alice and I didn't miss the way they looked at each other. It was strange, as if I was a deaf person sitting between two people having an in-depth discussion. I had never experienced anything like that before.

They all seemed to stand instantly without any further discussion, Edward took my hand as he carried the tray with his free hand over to the bin. The rumor mill began right then. I tried to block it all out, to forget I was the girl everyone was talking about but I couldn't seem to let it go… How had I become so deeply involved with this boy in the space of two days? It was insane! I couldn't explain my feelings even to myself. All I knew was that I didn't want to be without him…

"Lets get some air" Jasper spoke his first words since his greeting earlier. Edward seemed to eye him suspiciously before turning back to me.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Air sounds good." And it did. All I wanted to do was get away from all those prying eyes and running tongues. I really didn't like small towns, everyone knew far too much about the next person.

I was thankful when the cold air whipped my face outside, I hadn't ever been a fan of the cold but I enjoyed the freedom that came with it. We headed over to the cars where Alice started talking about a shopping trip that I really didn't want to go on.

"Will the boys be coming with us?" I asked innocently… if Edward was there I could handle shopping.

"Not. A. Chance!" Emmett laughed from behind me, taking me by surprise. His voice and booming laughter certainly matched the way he looked.

"We can have a girls day and let the boys off" Alice winked at me before she shrugged at Edward. I felt him stiffen beside me and once again I had that same eerie feeling of being deaf.

Rosalie and Alice started talking about the latest fashion trends - a subject that I really didn't care for - while the boys tried to get Edwards attention talking about going hiking for a few days. I didn't miss the hints they were throwing that I was the reason he kept declining. I knew that I wanted to fit in with this family and I also knew that Alice and Edward couldn't always be the ones attempting to make conversation with me.

Flicking through a magazine, the girls conversation had turned to Disney stars and Miley Cyrus, it was finally a topic I knew something about. One of my best friends from home had loved the whole Disney teen star thing and forced me to listen and watch a few bits.

"Look at her dress, her stylist is amazing" Alice was very animated as she was speaking.

"I know. Although I would have made it shorter" Rosalie looked lost in thought, truly contemplating that idea. I stepped away from Edward and walked closer to Alice who had spied me coming to chat. Her grin was massive as she nodded at Edward. Why was he so over protective about me around his family? It was almost as if he was worried they would hurt me.

"Rose, you would make everything shorter."

"Shut up Al, Look at that dress." She pointed to the one next to it.

"Its too dark and rocky, not girly enough." Alice had concluded.

"Actually I er… I prefer it" I felt like a moron trying to get involved in their conversation.

"Really? Why?" she didn't seem annoyed just confused as she waited patiently for my answer.

"I donno Alice, I'm just not a girly girl. Bright colors and flowers… just not my thing… I guess" I knew I was having issues speaking but I was worried that I had finally said too much that would make them realize how strange I really was.

"hmmm" She studied me a bit more. "We're just going to have to snap you out of that." She shrugged and flicked the page. Rose looked at me and rolled her eyes, I couldn't help but laugh slightly.

A small old blue van pulled into the parking lot then and began its journey towards the only empty parking space, which happened to be right next to us.

"Ergh… Tyler." Rosalie sounded disgusted as she looked over at Emmett who looked angry.

"What did I miss?"

"Tyler tried it on with Rose. We had to have words." Emmett's voice sounded strained and full of anger, something I hadn't expected he was capable of.

"Oh" was my great response.

Immediately Alice froze. Snapping straight and looking dazed. Edwards head whipped towards her and I watched as he looked absolutely devastated. Time seemed to slow right down then. They way it had when I had realized about Renee and Phil.

"Not her!" I heard Edward shout but it sounded so strange and dragged out. I watched as the others ran passed me in slow motion to Alice's side, my hair whipping me as I spun following them. They were all huddled against the side of Edwards car, everyone was asking and shouting but I couldn't seem to understand a single word of it. All faces turned to me then, all emotions printed clearly on their faces.

That's when I heard the loud squeal from behind me, I didn't turn, I couldn't. I froze. Somehow I knew from their expressions that, that noise was coming for me. I saw an image of Tyler's van flash before my eyes and realized that I knew that sound. I had heard it once before, many years ago. It was the sound of tires locking and skidding. I watched as Edward started moving towards me and then everything seemed to speed up, still, it was too fast to be normal. I was suddenly in Edwards arms, cradled like a child. Emmett seemed to just appear, yanking us both backwards, while Edward's hand shot out in front of us and pushed the van away like it weighed nothing.

The hit he gave it seemed to spin the van and once again it was attacking us. It was Jasper who appeared this time, sweeping my legs and holding the van of the ground with one hand. I knew I was gaping at him but I couldn't help it. A normal boy, even a strong man wouldn't have been able to hold it the way he was.

I blinked a few times trying to refocus to figure out what the heck I had just seen, when I noticed Rosalie appear next to Tyler's van only to put her hand underneath it and pull the dents out… again like it was nothing more than paper. This didn't make sense. It couldn't.

"Get Tyler" Rose commanded as Alice ran towards the other side of the van. Again… it was too fast for a normal girl. She had moved so fast that I barely seen her.

"Bella, Bella. Are you hurt?" A worried and frantic voice attacked me as Edwards hand started searching my face and body for injuries.

I couldn't respond. I was too caught up in what I had just seen. I couldn't feel pain but I wasn't sure I could feel anything but shock right now.

"They're coming" Jasper shouted as I managed to focus on all the students running towards us from the school doors.

"Bella. Please talk to me… are you okay?" I was lost in his eyes. I had noticed his peculiar eyes before, but the gold was gone. They were completely black.

"Your eyes…" I breathed out, unaware that I had been holding my breath. His eyes changed color, the speed, the strength I had just witnessed, the looks between them, the lack of food… "What are you?" I whispered out and immediately saw the blank façade take over Edwards features.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Sorry its been awhile but real life got in the way. This is only a short update but needed to be done to get the story started again!**_

_**I'm still looking for a beta, if your interested please message me :)**_

_**Thanks for the reviews, they make my day :)**_

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**_CHAPTER NINE: ALONE_**

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Its been exactly one month since the accident. One month since I awoke from the haze I had been living in. One month since I realised Edward wasn't a normal boy. But more than that, it has been one long painful month since Edward had acknowledged my existence, let alone spoken to me.

His family were hardly in school these days and when they were they avoided me like the plague. They always seemed to know when I was coming without even looking at me, seeming to walk away at exactly the right second. My intuition was flaring about that simple fact. It was impossible for it to be a coincidence, it had happened far too many times. I had managed to catch Emmett off guard once - thankfully some jock had decided that that day was the day to ask Rosalie out, it was enough for Emmett's full attention to be distracted - I had approached him and tried talking to him. He had seemed so uncomfortable until I couldn't act normal anymore.

"Emmett what the heck is going on?" I asked, irritated.

"Nothing." He replied simply but even I could see he wanted to say more.

"Did I do something to you all? I don't understand we were fine until the hospital and then…" I started rambling before he had cut me off.

"I… I cant speak to you." He said in a small voice.

"What do you mean you cant?"

"I'm not meant to speak to you. Please Bella… Rose is going to kill me for this already." He stated as he took off quickly leaving me completely shocked. Rosalie was stopping him? Was Edward?

I've spent the last month considering that. Was I correct in the beginning thinking I was nothing but the new toy for Edward to play with. Did he play the good guy just to hurt me.

To say I was upset was an understatement. To say I hadn't cried over it would be a lie. I had thought about everything that had happened that morning trying to figure out what the problem was but the only thing that made sense was Edwards reaction when I had asked 'What are you?' If I had been thinking right I wouldn't have asked it that way but I was in shock and my mind seemed to have no tact in that moment. Still, the question remained.

What are they?

After Edward had ignored me in the hospital I had decided that I wouldn't embarrass myself by trying to talk to him again, I would wait till he approached me… but he hadn't.

"Bella are you even listening?" Jessica's loud voice pulled me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I had no idea what the heck she had been on about.

"Are you coming with us?" Angela asked excitedly.

"Coming where?"

"Jesus Bella. Wake Up. We've been talking about it for nearly an hour!" Wow, she lost her temper quickly. "The makeovers"

Oh! Wow! No! I had forgotten that the girls had been completely obsessed with getting makeover. Reinventing yourself they had called it. Apparently it was the thing to do but I really had no interest in it.

"Maybe, but only to watch" I clarified.

They walked in then. The canteen was full but I seemed to be able to sense the moment they walked in, even when I couldn't see them. I wanted to turn and look. I wanted to walk right up to Edward and ask him why he is such a jerk but I knew it would do no good. I knew boys that liked to mess with girls and those boys, they would only laugh when they were confronted. It was enough to make my temper flare.

"Ergh the Cullen's are staring at you again!" Jessica stated in her own irritated tone. Wait… again? Huh?

"What do you mean again?"

"They are always staring at you, watching you." Angela said quietly. Why hadn't anyone informed me of this before?

"Its kinda creepy if you ask me." Jessica said under her breath.

"No one asked you!" I almost shouted at her. Why was I being protective of them? The bell rang then and I used it to my advantage. Angela walked quickly after me before linking arms with me and talking quietly.

"You okay?"

"Yep." There was nothing I wanted more that to talk to her, to anyone about everything that had happened since I moved here but I knew I shouldn't. I doubted she would even believe me about the speed and strength but even if she would, I knew I couldn't tell her and that alone confused the crap out of me. Why did I feel so protective over a group of people who wouldn't even talk to me?

I separated from Angela with a smile as I headed for my seat. Glad that for once I was hear first. At first I had thought Edward or Alice being in nearly all my classes was a blessing but it wasn't anymore. It was hard to sit next to them and know that they wouldn't even look at me for the entire time. I took one last deep breath as I watched Edward enter the room laughing with Alice. They were laughing about something unknown but I couldn't help but feel self-conscious. I was the stupid girl who had fallen for all their lines and tricks… was I the joke? Was that why they stared at me so much?

As Edward approached his seat next to me, I pretended to be distracted with tapping my finger tips off the desk in a rhythm. I felt his eyes burning down on me as he pulled the stool out loudly and angled himself towards me. What was he doing? I couldn't help but look up at him. It was like a magnetic pull that I couldn't ignore. Our eyes locked briefly before he looked down. I couldn't help but raise my eyebrow at him, what was he playing at? What was the point in all this?

"Hey Bella"

"Hey Mike, what's up?" This seemed to be his latest attempt. He would come over to me in every lesson we shared and try to make conversation, and every time his eyes would occasionally flutter to Edward, his features twisting into one of jealousy.

"You free this weekend?"

"Pretty much" I answered too quickly. I should have made up some excuse. Oh crap.

"I was thinking we should go see a film" Oh crap. There it was. Damn! I felt Edward stiffen next to me before I could answer him with a no, from the edge of my vision I could see that Edward's hand was balled into a tight fist. Hmm… was that in response to Mikes date proposal?

"What film?" I asked testing my theory. I watched again as his hand only seemed to get tighter. Alice was sitting directly in front of us and I noticed that she was doing the same, she wasn't moving a muscle. If I didn't know better I would think that she wasn't even breathing.

"Love spelt backwards is love. It's a stupid title but it's meant to be good."

"Romance?" Ergh definitely not.

"Yep. It's a chick flick but apparently its funny."

"Is there nothing else? Less mushy." As I asked, Alice turned in her seat to look at Edward but there were no words exchanged. She looked furious at something. Was it because of me. I allowed my eyes the quick task of looking up at Edward and to my surprise he was staring at me and not Alice. I could see the hurt that was etched into his face and it made my heart lurch.

"Face punch? Its an action movie"

"Yeah that sounds better." I smiled sweetly at him, somehow I had managed to agree to a date with him because I wanted to see Edwards reaction. Great.

"Awesome. Friday night, around eight okay with you?" He said a little but too excited. Crap, crap, crapity crap!

"Sure, great." I tried my hardest to make my voice sound enthusiastic but I wasn't sure if I pulled it off. I had never been a good liar but Mike's smile grew until he looked like a five year old on Christmas morning.

The class started then, Mike manoeuvred over to his seat without another word. I didn't dare look at him but I felt Edwards gaze burning into me for the entire lesson. He didn't say a word, he just stared. By the end of the lesson my curiosity was all consuming and I had to know what expression his gaze held. Just as the bell rang I let my eyes wonder up to him, he was staring at me through squinted eyes but the surrounding emotions weren't angry, he looked betrayed. I forced myself to look away, I could feel the guilt swimming over me. I could hear his words at the restaurant playing over and over in my mind, he had called me girlfriend among other things and yet the very next day he had not only saved my life but started this mission to ignore me. No. I wouldn't feel sorry about agreeing to go out with Mike, I wouldn't feel bad. I hope it hurts him to see me move on, just as he has hurt me all this time. Acting like I was worth nothing at all, just some girl that he could easily ignore, one that he didn't even care enough about to say hello to. Yes, I was angry at him, at them all.

I started walking towards my truck, glad that this day was finally over and I could go home and over think about everything that had happened.

"Bella." I heard my name in the musical tone I had missed for the past month. I almost couldn't believe it and so I continued towards my truck ignoring it. "Bella please stop. Bella." He continued as I stopped and turned to look at him. He smiled softly at me but I couldn't return the gesture I was too confused.

"What?" I said sourly.

"How are you?" he asked softly.

"Why do you even care?" I shot back angrily. I watched as he flinched at my words.

"Do you really think I don't care about you?" his voice was so low I barely heard him. I was shocked. Of course I thought that.

"It's been a month Edward. A MONTH." I screeched at him before turning and running for my truck door. Why did I feel guilty? He had ignored me and then expected me to act like nothing when he finally decided to talk to me again. Was he insane?

As I roared out of the car park, I couldn't help but watch Edward out my rear view mirror. He hadn't moved. He just stood there watching me go while his family surrounded him. Just before turning the corner I watched as Emmett and Jasper had to pull him over to his car as his eyes stayed locked on my truck.

What was happening? He looked so defeated in that moment.


	10. Chapter 10

There are reasons for everything….

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**CHAPTER TEN: NIGHTMARE**

_**EPOV**_

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"What are you?"

I had replayed that entire situation over and over again… I had waited and waited for this moment. The moment she would put all the clues together and realize that I wasn't what she thought I was. I had waited but I had hoped. Hoped in vain that she would never come to this realization. That she would remain like everyone else I had come into contact with over the last hundred years and just think that we were a little strange, 'Freaks' as we have often been called.

Before I had a chance to answer her question, Mike Newton had appeared - saved by the bell, or at least something along those lines - and grabbed Bella's face searching her for injures. I wanted to throw him across the car park for even touching her, I wanted to crush him with the van that had almost killed the one thing I had to live for in this miserable life.

Her eyes had returned to me, searching mine for an answer I couldn't give, not yet any way. How did I ever imagine I could break this to her? Did I really think she would be so lost in her own world that she wouldn't notice, that she would give me time to plan around it.

"Edward" Her voice was silent to the ears of the humans around but I couldn't miss the way her breath caressed my name with shock.

"Not here love. I'll explain." I motioned to the surrounding people and she seemed to register my distress. Before I knew it she was being lifted on to a stretcher and the paramedics were trying to convince me I needed on too. Huh! If they only knew the truth of the situation.

We rushed to the hospital closely behind the ambulance, my thoughts were trained soley on the thoughts in front of me. I watched her through the paramedics eyes as he worked closely on her, checking her for any hidden injuries which thankfully didn't seem to exists.

The ambulance took a private turning and as much as I wanted to follow, I knew I couldn't. I was about to take the door off and run towards her when I was thrown into one of Alice's visions. Carlisle and Esme were talking to someone, we were all there but it wasn't until I caught the scent that I knew who sat in front. It was Aro and Jane. They were discussing the recent incident that they had come to sort out and decided to stop by and visit Carlisle on their travels, it was a plan to get Alice and I to join them. I watched how the vision changed every time I thought about what I was about to do.

Alice and I sat staring at one another for what seemed like a long time. If I told Bella the truth the Volturi would know. There would be punishment for us and her… only they would make me deliver her punishment. I knew that I could restrain myself when it came to scent but they would do something much worse, they would torture her till her blood was too much for me to handle. The monster would take over, he would win.

"What do I do?" I whispered to the only other person who understood.

"You cant tell her. At least not yet…" she trailed off suggestively.

"What's going on?" Emmett was torn between our conversation and looking at the hospital. His hand was still firmly on the handle ready to get out the second I gave him permission.

"The Volturi are coming for a visit." I barely breathed the words out but everyone understood what that could mean. I turned my attention back to Alice. "What do you suggest?"

"Put off the conversation for now. Get her scent off you and hopefully the scent trail from ours to hers will be faded enough when they get here not to notice."

"I cant ignore her." I said angrily. It wasn't Alice's fault but I couldn't help my frustration at the situation.

"You have to." Her words were gentle enough that it seemed to make my mind click, she was right. Ignore her or she dies… but I couldn't let go of her so soon after finding her.

"For how long?"

"I'm not sure, they haven't decided how long they want to stay yet. Hopefully not too long." She shrugged. I knew it was out of her control but I just wished that she could be more specific on how long I would have to keep away from her.

"What about Aro? If he reads any of our minds then it wont matter." Jasper spoke up, lost in thought as his arm wrapped around Alice to comfort her. She was nearly as reluctant to follow it through as I was.

"We just have to make sure no one touches him" Rosalie shrugged nonchalantly.

I moved to get out of the car, knowing that this might be the last time I talk my Bella for a little while.

"Edward, no." Alice shouted.

"What?"

"If you go in there she will want an answer… you cant give her it. At least if Aro or Jane finds out by accident technically Bella doesn't know. If you go in there you ruin our back up plan." I hated that little pixie when she made sense. I couldn't stop my eyes from flashing from Alice to the hospital and back again. "Lets go home. Carlisle will phone if she's hurt."

I didn't want to do this… I didn't want to let Bella out of my sight but I had no choice. If I was going to keep her safe then I would have to leave her alone. I just hoped that after all of this, she wouldn't hate me.

Carlisle phoned as soon as Bella was released from Hospital looking for me, as I explained the situation he agreed that it was for the best. I had been secretly hoping Carlisle would have a better plan but he didn't. Bella was fine, apparently I had done a good job at saving her and now instead of her thinking good of me for it, she was going to hate me. She was going to feel rejected and alone. Just great!

It took me all my willpower and my two bothers to stop me from going to Bella's house that night to check on her, I wanted to know for myself that she was fine but more than that, I wanted her to know that she wasn't alone. She had text me twice before the night was over - a simple question mark - she wanted answers and she probably wanted to know where I was.

As soon as we arrived at school the next morning, I saw Bella. She was waiting for me, I noticed the smile on her lips as soon as she saw my car pull in. Before I had even gotten out of the car she had begun walking towards me.

"Remember be tough, walk straight past her without a second look." Jasper said quietly. And that was exactly what I did. I kept a calm façade on my face as I walked straight past her and headed for the school building.

"Edward? Alice?"

'Don't answer her.' Rosalie thought to me.

Walking past her that morning was the toughest thing I had to do in my entire existence and I knew it was only going to get worse.

I wasn't wrong. The moment she stepped into the classroom I positioned myself looking towards the window. I watched her reaction through Mike Newton's thought, which in it self was a terrible torture. The thoughts he had about my Bella was more than wrong, they were vile. She watched me closely as she stalked towards me. I didn't miss the confused anger that was rolling off of her expression.

"Hello?" She spoke as she sat down, obviously trying to figure out what my problem was. I wanted to badly to talk to her but I knew I couldn't but I had to acknowledge her, even once. Just so she would know that I was ignoring her and intended on not speaking to her. It was the least I could give her at this time. I turned to her, my calm façade firmly in place and nodded my head slightly - a silent hello - before turning back towards the window.

I had continued like that for the four days before Aro and Jane had arrived. She hadn't tried to speak to me again and I noticed how her anger seemed to grow daily at me. She would slam her books down on the desk, she would glare in my direction but even worse than that, she had stopped calling me by my name. When someone would ask her a question that involved me - this happened a lot after the accident - she would refer to me as 'Cullen' and as the days went by the distaste in her tone as she said that grew.

It wasn't long until Newton had decided to try asking her out. It took me all I could do not to kill him for even considering it but Bella would always reject him nicely and for that I was thankful. I wasn't sure I could control my anger if she would say yes to that excuse for a boy.

Aro and Jane seemed at ease at our home and every day they tried different ways of persuading us to join. There was no chance that either of us would even consider it but the more we turned them down, the more they continued to offer us things.

Today started like every other day for the past month. I would watch Bella without her realizing, I would keep my thoughts trained on those around her. I would notice how she never smiled or laughed. As she threw her bag down next to me, her scent hit me harder than I expected. Being away from Bella had made it harder for me to deal with her scent but as I had taken the last three days off, it was almost too much. I had fought with the monster and finally won. I made my mind up in that moment that I would not stay away from her for that length of time again. I needed her close even if I couldn't talk to her or touch her.

Mike was planning on asking Bella out again, it made me wonder if he ever took a hint. She wants me. Not you. I wanted to shout at him but decided that it wouldn't look too good if I did especially given the fact I haven't spoken to her. And then it happened… She agreed.

Why? Why? Why?

Was she over me? Did she not love me anymore? Did she ever? Would she ever forgive me?

As she turned and headed for the door, I felt my heart rip out… I didn't care anymore about some back up plan. I needed to talk to her. I needed her to understand.

I followed after her and tried to talk to her but she wouldn't listen. She wasn't interested in listening to me and more than anything else I had ever experienced, that was by far the most painful. I ruined it.

I didn't drive home. I couldn't function.

I was pulled from my downward spiral when Alice pulled me into a vision, Aro and Jane leaving. Another one of those moments I had been waiting for. Only it didn't matter.

Bella didn't want me anymore.

It was over… I was alone… again.


End file.
